IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many parents are buying too many toys for their children. To what extend is this positive or negative for children?

#parents #toys #children
Having too many playthings can give a great sense of inner satisfaction to a child. On
this
 account, a number of
children
 are being provided with a plethora of
toys
. From my point of view, it has had more practical effects on
children
 compared to those with less amusing
toys
. On the positive side, having various kinds of
toys
 can improve creativity. Needless to say that since some of them are designed to develop imagination, buying them can be beneficial for a child. Boosting creativity,
toys
 have made
children
 more ready when it is time for starting
school
.
For instance
, it has been witnessed that
children
 who have created shapes with Legos before going to
school
 have had better performance in lessons that needed creativity like Art.
Furthermore
, having a carefree childhood by playing with
toys
 results in a higher EQ level. Higher levels of EQ lead not just to understanding better at
school
 but
also
 affect a whole meaning. To illustrate
this
, according to a recent poll those
children
 who tried a wide range of
toys
, had higher EQ levels, and 2 times faster in learning new tasks at
school
.
On the other hand
, having too many playing items can result in
children
 with a lack of social skills. While taking
children
 to the park and playing with peers can improve social behaviours, buying too many
toys
 makes them sit in a room being amused with
toys
 and getting used to loneliness all day long.
As a result
, they become reluctant to meet new people, so having too many
toys
 is not always beneficial. In conclusion, despite that playing with
toys
 can lead to low levels of interaction for a child, from my point of view it may help them to explore the world and themselves.
However
, there should be boundaries in everything.
Submitted by sidramassri47 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: