Whoever controls the media controls the mind. Discuss this statement and give your own opinion. agree = messages disagree = depend on activities

#controls #media #mind #messages #activities

Nowadays, more people are using

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

media

, and a lot of them acknowledge that it, indeed,

affect

Correct subject-verb agreement

affects

show examples

their way of thinking, beliefs, and actions. In

this

report, I will go through the proofs of

this

statements

Fix the agreement mistake

statement

show examples

as well as

its reverse one, and

then

allow me to share my

point

of view.

To begin

with, social

media

is influencing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people's thinking, clothing, beliefs, and traditions.

This

is done by sending hidden messages. In

different

Correct word choice

other

show examples

words, many applications

such

Tik Tok

Correct your spelling

TikTok

show examples

, Twitter, Instagram, and

Snap Chat

Correct your spelling

SnapChat

are sending

unvisible

Correct your spelling

invisible

messagas

Correct your spelling

messages

about sex, and violence, and

this

affects how people act and react to any situation.

For example

, some parents said that their children's

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

have completely changed after using the internet, and some of them learned unsuitable information that they should not know during their childhood.

Also

, many adults admit that their attitude in some cases has dramatically changed after using the internet.

Although

the

point

mentioned above is influencing, there is a reverse

point

that holds equal influence. The

point

is that the content depends on the individual's activity. For

further

explanation, the inventors of these applications acknowledge that their main algorithm is to offer

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

depending on the person's

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

subjects, so they will not show a

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

video

for

Change preposition

show examples

a person who does not like to watch

such

videos.

In addition

, many users said that they like using social

media

because it will not show them any unsuitable

post

Fix the agreement mistake

posts

show examples

Moreover

, Artificial intelligence controls these applications by following the

persons

Change to a genitive case

person's

persons'

show examples

activity, and relying on that they provide interesting posts for them so that

Rephrase

no none

show examples

none

Correct your spelling

one

show examples

sees

unfavorable

Change the spelling

unfavourable

show examples

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

. In conclusion, even though using social

media

is entertaining, cheerful, and joyful, it has, actually, some negatives, and bad effects.

As a result

, I completely agree with the statement mentioned above.

Submitted by haneenalnetaif on Fri May 10 2024

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Language Use

Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your points more compelling.

Content

Consider adding more specific examples or data to support your arguments. While you've provided general examples, concrete data or studies would strengthen your case.

Grammar

Be cautious with spelling and grammar to maintain clarity throughout your essay. Minor errors can distract from your overall message.

Critical Thinking

To enhance your argument, you might explore discussing how individuals can exercise control over their media consumption to mitigate some of the negative effects you mention.

Structure

You effectively structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Argumentation

Your exploration of both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion adds depth to your analysis.

Topic Engagement

Engaging with the complexity of the topic by acknowledging the role of individual choices in media consumption.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Whoever controls the media controls the mind. Discuss this statement and give your own opinion. agree = messages disagree = depend on activities

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

your friend wants to send his or her children to yours school for the weekeneds. Write a letter to him or her to say 1. agree to the arrangement 2. say what time is suitable 3. describe what you are planning.

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