IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In developing nations, there is an increase in international tourism. Is this more advantageous or disadvantageous?

#nations #tourism
In developing countries, there is a growth in the range of international tourism. I am going to interpret both the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 topic. In the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
end I am going to give my own opinions on the examples I am going to give. On one hand, nowadays the tourism industry is one of the important elements of a
provincial
Replace the word
province
show examples
 to have the benefits of it. most the countries are now putting all their vigour to have
such
 a good tourist attraction. Because it observes individuals worldwide visit those attractions.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
 action has so many advantages, if we watch it from a different view, we discuss that there are some disadvantages as well. To explicate it, one of the most common issues that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed nations face is the difference among cultures.
In addition
,
this
 is very hard to handle individuals with different cultures.
For instance
, if some people are not familiar with the law and culture of the host country, they may cause some problems for the host country.
On the other hand
,
this
 is obvious that some
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 have a vast number of tourists during
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 year.
Furthermore
,
this
 action completely impacts the economy of the country and has so many financial benefits. The new statistics illustrate that counties which spend more of their budget on their tourism industry are developed
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
. To sum up, as I discuss in the paragraphs above, the advantages are strongly outweighing the disadvantages. To conclude, in my ,opinion society all over the world should pay more attention to their tourist attractions and historical places and take care of
such
 places.
Submitted by m.akbari1876 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: