Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In
this
contemporary
era
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,era
show examples
the notion behind the conventional and religious
festivals
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
been forgotten by the vast majority of
people
. My point of view does not correspond with
aforementioned
Add an article
the aforementioned
an aforementioned
show examples
statement that,
people
merely want to relish during the festival and they do not care about the concept of them.
First
and foremost,
hidden
Add an article
the hidden
show examples
meaning of
festivals
has the ability to aid individuals to understand cultural roots of them. In the past, festival events used to accompany
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
family
gathering
Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
show examples
in order to make a great bond between family members. Meanwhile, the oldest member of the family has told myriad patriotic stories about heroes sacrificing their lives for the sake of now we live under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
safe circumstances. Understanding the hidden concept of the
festivals
especially
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,especially
show examples
at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
young age,
therefore
, can stimulate children's cognitive
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
and leads them to learn more about their historical heroes.
Last
but not least, having
festivals
means that
people
have a
marvelous
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marvellous
show examples
sense of culture which
propel
Correct subject-verb agreement
propels
show examples
them
celebrate
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to celebrate
show examples
festivals
voluntarily. Nowruz is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
conspicuous example of it. Iranian celebrates
this
festival spontaneously
in
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on
show examples
the
first
day of spring when all trees and flowers are in full
blooms
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bloom
show examples
as well as nature revives again.
Likewise
,
People
firmly hold that
,
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apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
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this
day the God of lightness has defeated the devils and saved the world from darkness. To sum up, if
people
understand the meaning behind the
festivals
, they will capable of
celebrate
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celebrating
show examples
these
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
wholeheartedly. In conclusion, understanding
notion
Add an article
the notion
show examples
of every festival can encourage
people
not only
understand
Fix the infinitive
to understand
show examples
the cultural and historical roots of their countries but
also
,
assist
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to assist
show examples
them to celebrate them enthusiastically.
Submitted by shahlad on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commercialization
  • Globalization
  • Cultural dilution
  • Traditional values
  • Secularization
  • Festivity
  • Heritage
  • Individualism vs. collectivism
  • Consumer culture
  • Intangible cultural heritage
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