Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #festivals #periods

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

contemporary

era

Add a comma

,era

show examples

the notion behind the conventional and religious

festivals

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

been forgotten by the vast majority of

people

Use synonyms

. My point of view does not correspond with

aforementioned

Add an article

the aforementioned

an aforementioned

show examples

statement that,

people

Use synonyms

merely want to relish during the festival and they do not care about the concept of them.

First

Linking Words

and foremost,

hidden

Add an article

the hidden

show examples

meaning of

festivals

Use synonyms

has the ability to aid individuals to understand cultural roots of them. In the past, festival events used to accompany

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

family

gathering

Fix the agreement mistake

gatherings

show examples

in order to make a great bond between family members. Meanwhile, the oldest member of the family has told myriad patriotic stories about heroes sacrificing their lives for the sake of now we live under

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

safe circumstances. Understanding the hidden concept of the

festivals

Use synonyms

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

young age,

therefore

Linking Words

, can stimulate children's cognitive

developments

Fix the agreement mistake

development

show examples

and leads them to learn more about their historical heroes.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, having

festivals

Use synonyms

means that

people

Use synonyms

have a

marvelous

Change the spelling

marvellous

show examples

sense of culture which

propel

Correct subject-verb agreement

propels

show examples

them

celebrate

Fix the infinitive

to celebrate

show examples

festivals

Use synonyms

voluntarily. Nowruz is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

conspicuous example of it. Iranian celebrates

this

Linking Words

festival spontaneously

Change preposition

show examples

the

first

Linking Words

day of spring when all trees and flowers are in full

blooms

Fix the agreement mistake

bloom

show examples

as well as nature revives again.

Likewise

Linking Words

People

Use synonyms

firmly hold that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

day the God of lightness has defeated the devils and saved the world from darkness. To sum up, if

people

Use synonyms

understand the meaning behind the

festivals

Use synonyms

, they will capable of

celebrate

Change the verb form

celebrating

show examples

these

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

wholeheartedly. In conclusion, understanding

notion

Add an article

the notion

show examples

of every festival can encourage

people

Use synonyms

not only

understand

Fix the infinitive

to understand

show examples

the cultural and historical roots of their countries but

also

Linking Words

assist

Fix the infinitive

to assist

show examples

them to celebrate them enthusiastically.

Submitted by shahlad on Mon May 16 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Commercialization
Globalization
Cultural dilution
Traditional values
Secularization
Festivity
Heritage
Individualism vs. collectivism
Consumer culture
Intangible cultural heritage

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give the reasons and relative examples upon your own experiences.
Business has always been considered a cut-throat competition in which enterprises relentlessly make a huge effort to attract customers and gain profit. In order to build a customer base, numerous corporations these days introduce that their products are innovative in some aspects. While such practices have their own merits and demerits, I strongly support that these promotions indicate a positive development in the industry, which will be further explained by discussing the root causes of this trend in the following essay.
4.5
band
Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, there has been a growing trend that people tend to buy things on the Internet. This present both pros and cos, however, in my opinion, its benefits are much more significant than the drawbacks.
7
band
Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is often said that it is more vital to use the money on motorways and wharf, rather than on transportation for the public like trams and railways. This writer believes that it is crucial to improve public shipment rather than the wharf due to the reason of climate and prices, despite who thinks that the motorways can be convenient.
7.5
band
Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Alternative medicine is not new. It is accepted that it pre-dates conventional medicine and it is still used by many people all over the world. I am unconvinced that it is dangerous, and feel that both alternative and conventional medicine can be useful.
4.5
band
Some people prefer to spend most of their time with friends. Other people prefer to be alone most of the time. Which way of life do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer.
These days many of people prefer to stay alone comparsion some people prefer to stay with a lot of people According to what they want. So, some people think that it is benefit to there wishes and they comfortable with it , While other believe that the rest of the people enjoy to stay with a lot of people because thier not love to feel alone. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal opinion.

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give the reasons and relative examples upon your own experiences.

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people prefer to spend most of their time with friends. Other people prefer to be alone most of the time. Which way of life do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer.