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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that it is the responsibility of the government to ensure that people in the country have healthy lifestyles. Other people believe that individuals should be free to decide their own lifestyles. Discuss both opinions and give your own idea.

#people #responsibility #government #country #lifestyles #individuals #idea
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It is quite common that
people
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 are increasingly concerned about their physical
health
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there is a debate about whether the
government
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 should take responsibility for citizens’
health
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. While some
people
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 think that individuals have the autonomy to choose their own satisfying lifestyles I tend to hold a different opinion. Most
people
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 understand the importance of a healthy
lifestyle
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, which has an influence on their lifespan. But few
people
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 have the self-control to stay away from bad unhealthy habits,
such
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 as smoking, taking drugs, alcohol abuse, and so on.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
government
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 has the responsibility to set up related rules and regulations, stimulate some companies to take investment in the
health
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 industry, and build some outdoor sports infrastructure to promote citizens to take part in outdoor activities. Through these methods, eventually, the whole society has an atmosphere of
health
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; and citizens will unconsciously choose to have a healthy
lifestyle
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. Take Germany as an example, to protect citizens’
health
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, a regulation that any employee cannot work over 40 hours in a week was set up and a huge number of football fields were built to allow residents to participate in football sports
additionally
Linking Words
. Admittedly, the
government
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 should not disturb dwellers’ right to make choices on
lifestyle
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. While too many
people
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 are unaware of their surrounding circumstances-which means eating high-oil food or take-out food conveniently or working overnight frequently, etc.
In addition
Linking Words
, the concept of
lifestyle
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 in citizens depends on their income, status, parenting, schooling, society, and so forth.
Hence
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, the
government
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 enables to
implement
Replace the word
implementation
show examples
many
Change preposition
of many
show examples
 measures to enhance
people
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’s awareness of
health
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 fundamentally. In conclusion, the
government
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 has the priority of changing citizens’ habits that will damage their physical and mental
health
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, and
thus
Linking Words
 it plays the majority role in the promotion of healthy lifestyles.
Submitted by gzhang_02 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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