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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A great number of students choose to pursue higher education after graduating. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Today, many
students
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 want to continue higher
education
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 after finishing high school. While others said that higher
education
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 has many disadvantages, I would argue that it brings more advantages. On the one hand, there are some disadvantages when
students
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 consider higher
education
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 after graduating.
Firstly
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, some manual workers will always be needed
such
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 as waiters, deliveries,
workers
Correct word choice
and workers
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,
this
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 may waste their time and money.
Therefore
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, they do not need higher
education
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.
Secondly
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, if
students
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 choose to continue higher
education
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, they have to pay a lot of money for tuition,
this
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 becomes a financial burden. They have to find a
job
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 to earn money and they can not focus on studying.
As a result
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, they might not have good study results.
On the other hand
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, there are some advantages when
students
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 continue higher
education
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 after finishing high school. They may improve their knowledge and academic qualifications, which help them have many
job
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 opportunities.
For example
Linking Words
, if you want to work in a famous group with a high
job
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 position and have a
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
job
Use synonyms
, you would have to get a higher
education
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are many benefits to going to university. Many big companies link to universities to find staff, so they easier to get a good
job
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 with a
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
job
Use synonyms
. While higher
education
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 brings a lot of drawbacks, I firmly believe that it will be better for
students
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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