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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest

#children #countries #obesity
These days people place Primmum on
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a fit
body
 and healthy
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. While in wealthy countries most people are too
Correct your spelling
overweight
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over weight
Correct your spelling
overweight
show examples
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I want to advance what are the problems and
also
 give some solutions. To advance a convincing theory I could deal with,
diet
Add an article
a diet
show examples
 high in fat leads to heart problems and blood pressure. On the grounds of these
illnesses
Add a comma
,illnesses
show examples
 you need argent treatment. In
log-term
Add a comma
,log-term
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 it will
also
 have ill effects on the rest of your
body
. Not
last
 but not least it will have dire consequences on your brain
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is the most important part of your whole
body
.
For instance
, one of my father’s friends
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 had had unhealthy
life
, he used to eat many fast foods and he hadn’t
exercised
Wrong verb form
exercise
show examples
. Due to that
horiable
Correct your spelling
horrible
 eating habit, he has had many surgeries since
last
 year. It is plain to see to have a good
body
 and health, you should eat
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of foods. It must contain all 5 groups of ingredients. just be aware that having all nutrients in moderate proportion is vital. it is clear that being too thin can cause as many
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 as being
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 fat. On top of
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 another feature which I should mention is a healthy diet is not enough you must
also
 go to
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
. To conclude, in rich places, gone is the idea of having
Correct your spelling
homemade
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home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
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 food, Due to lack of time. The way they eat has changed beyond recognition. If they start to eat more
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
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 and fruit
since
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now, they will have an easy and safe
life
 in the future, and they will live a longer
life
.
Submitted by s.pantea.rahnama on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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