More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest

#children #countries #obesity

These days people place Primmum on

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

a fit

body

and healthy

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

. While in wealthy countries most people are too

Correct your spelling

overweight

show examples

over weight

Correct your spelling

overweight

show examples

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I want to advance what are the problems and

also

give some solutions. To advance a convincing theory I could deal with,

diet

Add an article

a diet

show examples

high in fat leads to heart problems and blood pressure. On the grounds of these

illnesses

Add a comma

,illnesses

show examples

you need argent treatment. In

log-term

Add a comma

,log-term

show examples

it will

also

have ill effects on the rest of your

body

. Not

last

but not least it will have dire consequences on your brain

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is the most important part of your whole

body

For instance

, one of my father’s friends

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

had had unhealthy

life

, he used to eat many fast foods and he hadn’t

exercised

Wrong verb form

exercise

show examples

. Due to that

horiable

Correct your spelling

horrible

eating habit, he has had many surgeries since

last

year. It is plain to see to have a good

body

and health, you should eat

variety

Add an article

a variety

show examples

of foods. It must contain all 5 groups of ingredients. just be aware that having all nutrients in moderate proportion is vital. it is clear that being too thin can cause as many

problem

Change to a plural noun

problems

show examples

as being

Replace the word

too

show examples

fat. On top of

that

Add a comma

,that

show examples

another feature which I should mention is a healthy diet is not enough you must

also

go to

gym

Add an article

the gym

show examples

. To conclude, in rich places, gone is the idea of having

Correct your spelling

homemade

show examples

home made

Correct your spelling

homemade

show examples

food, Due to lack of time. The way they eat has changed beyond recognition. If they start to eat more

vegetable

Fix the agreement mistake

vegetables

show examples

and fruit

since

Change preposition

apply

show examples

now, they will have an easy and safe

life

in the future, and they will live a longer

life

Submitted by s.pantea.rahnama on Tue May 17 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
Type 2 diabetes
heart disease
asthma
psychological impact
self-esteem
bullying
depression
nutrition
balanced diet
physical activity
healthcare costs
economic consequences
parental involvement

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skill and more creative than reading to what extent do you agree or disagree use reason and specific example for to explain your answer.

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets, and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you thimk this is a positive or negative situation?