Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisements to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree

In the
chaning
Correct your spelling
changing
times of today. Toys and snacks are seen as ubiquitous. I completely agree with the stance and would enunciate vivid reasons for the same in the discourse ahead followed by my opinion.
However
, it seems that
this
issue is more academic than practical in real terms.
First
and foremost, large corporations always target children for their products. Companies hire offspring's favourite actors for promoting their own products. Unfortunately, pupils are easily manipulated by seeing the desired person using innovative toys and eating crispy food items. To cite
a
Change the article
an
show examples
example, Dominos, an international pizza making company always promote
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
brand with a popular celebrity. Ergo, children and even parents
also
get attracted. Eventually, Dominos sales rose twice in just 2 years around 75% of sales came from the toddler side. All in all, individuals have a tendency to try new attractive and innovative things which not been used or eaten before
Secondly
,
commercials
are designed in a manner that children feel they can not live without them. Packaged food is full of preservatives and additives. Companies illustrate in that manner once a child is consumed
then
the child will become like ironmen. Sometimes parents know about food but offspring's yell lead them to compulsory buy. A number of
commercials
are
brainwashed
Wrong verb form
brainwashing
show examples
chilren's
Correct your spelling
children's
children
minds even parents
also
. But, families can not defeat large corporations. Ergo, law enforcement organizations have to step up and deter some misleading
commercials
. There is always a line between 'use' and 'abuse' and the government needs to explain
this
to citizens. To core out, the demerits of
commercials
for toys and snacks outweigh their merits. In
these bombardment
Change the determiner
this bombardment
these bombardments
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
commercials
government have to screen every advertisement before releasing
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
the public.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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