Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisements to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree

#advertisements #snacks #toys #impact #children #parents

In the

chaning

Correct your spelling

changing

times of today. Toys and snacks are seen as ubiquitous. I completely agree with the stance and would enunciate vivid reasons for the same in the discourse ahead followed by my opinion.

However

, it seems that

this

issue is more academic than practical in real terms.

First

and foremost, large corporations always target children for their products. Companies hire offspring's favourite actors for promoting their own products. Unfortunately, pupils are easily manipulated by seeing the desired person using innovative toys and eating crispy food items. To cite

Change the article

show examples

example, Dominos, an international pizza making company always promote

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

brand with a popular celebrity. Ergo, children and even parents

also

get attracted. Eventually, Dominos sales rose twice in just 2 years around 75% of sales came from the toddler side. All in all, individuals have a tendency to try new attractive and innovative things which not been used or eaten before

Secondly

commercials

are designed in a manner that children feel they can not live without them. Packaged food is full of preservatives and additives. Companies illustrate in that manner once a child is consumed

then

the child will become like ironmen. Sometimes parents know about food but offspring's yell lead them to compulsory buy. A number of

commercials

are

brainwashed

Wrong verb form

brainwashing

show examples

chilren's

Correct your spelling

children's

children

minds even parents

also

. But, families can not defeat large corporations. Ergo, law enforcement organizations have to step up and deter some misleading

commercials

. There is always a line between 'use' and 'abuse' and the government needs to explain

this

to citizens. To core out, the demerits of

commercials

for toys and snacks outweigh their merits. In

these bombardment

Change the determiner

this bombardment

these bombardments

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

commercials

government have to screen every advertisement before releasing

Correct pronoun usage

it to

show examples

the public.

Submitted by smitnakrani24990 on Tue May 17 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Nowadays it has become increasingly popular to shop online rather than too shop in-store. Is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays online shopping is preferred over buying goods at shops. This essay agrees that this is a positive development because it is convenient, cost effective and saves time.
5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is no denying the fact that highly qualified individuals like engineers and doctors play a significant role in our world. While it is a commonly held belief that when these professionals finish their training in a certain country, they have to work there, there is also an argument that they should have their freedom to select the place, where they want to work in. This essay will analyse this topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
7
band
Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view?
The world that we live in today is dominated by advertising. Adverts are on television, on the World Wide Web, in the street and even on our mobile phones. However, many of the strategies used to sell a product or service can be considered immoral or unacceptable.
4.5
band
Serious violent crimes among people who are under-18 are becoming more common. Some people think that children who commit serious crimes should be treated like adults, while others would say that they should be rehabilitated. Discuss both views and give your opinion!
Major violent offenses are being carried out by children more often. While some would argue that they should get the same treatment as grown-ups because this would ensure that the victims are given justice, I believe that they are not old enough to be aware of what they are doing, and rehabilitation is a better option.
4
band
Some people think that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
A section of society is in the view of rewarding students who performs excellent in their academic exams. However , others say that it is significantly necessary to acknowledge more of the students who are improving. In my opinion, it is profoundly important to give recognition to someone trying to excel in their studies. On the one hand, if the schools rewards to them who are already excelling in their education this Help them to improve furthermore . Additionally , appreciation is also Welcome to encourage students this Helps to prevail them in the examination. For instance , the fundaments of giving marks during exams are just to make them eager to achieve the highest goal on average 75% of toppers say that they get motivated by such Markings and this Make them to be more focused towards their aim. On the other hand , those who are not good in studies, but trying hard to improve, I personally feel they should be indulge more because it will lure them to show the...

Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisements to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays it has become increasingly popular to shop online rather than too shop in-store. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Serious violent crimes among people who are under-18 are becoming more common. Some people think that children who commit serious crimes should be treated like adults, while others would say that they should be rehabilitated. Discuss both views and give your opinion!

Some people think that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.