Many people believe that nature plays a more significant impact on human adult intelligence, while others claim that an individual can train himself to become high-intelligent. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is said that
genes
and heritage of parents influence most
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human adult intelligence,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
there is
also
a statement about the role of
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
own experience too. From my point of view, it is the nurture that affects
intellectual
Correct article usage
the intellectual
show examples
abilities
of an adult human than
the
Change the word
their
show examples
nature
of them. Human
nature
is a very versatile concept
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it is not only physical features
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
genes
, a legacy from parents. Intelligence,
first
of all, cannot be inherited from a parent to a child, but it is the result of the interaction of many
genes
transmitted from parents. Scientists have proved that identical twins have more
similarity
Fix the agreement mistake
similarities
show examples
in intellectual
abilities
than dizygotic ones.
This
contributed to an opinion that says that
nature
had an actual effect on the children’s brainpower is affected by
genes
and
nature
.
On the other hand
, there are certain cases where the intellectual
abilities
of a person have been affected by factors
such
as
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
of
person
Correct article usage
the person
show examples
or nutrition. And several studies have shown that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
nutrition does affect the judgement of
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
and especially breakfast had a huge impact on children. Studies have shown that students that ate breakfast before lessons made fewer mistakes during achievement tests while students who missed the breakfast had lower speed and accuracy during tasks. It shows that even little things daily affect the mind of a human. In conclusion, the surrounding of
a human and outside factors
Correct the article-noun agreement
human and outside factors
a human and outside factor
show examples
have more effect on
the
Change the word
her
show examples
intellectual
abilities
of him or her.
Submitted by Zhbiroksana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: