In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

In some cultures, whether one’s home is rented or bought is important.

However

, while various reasons support that everyone should buy a house or an apartment, it is actually negative for the development of college students and young adults. The cause of the phenomenon is that citizens in these cultural backgrounds regard owning a real estate property as a kind of success. Rather than renting a place with paying the rent to the housekeeper, owning a house but loaning from the bank is seen as better and wiser in these areas since livers could enjoy ultimate freedom when living in the house and make the property be an investment.

For example

, the trend of investing in real estate is prevalent in Taiwan and China, and lots of people become rich and careless after some successful operations, which promotes the aspect that owning is better than renting.

Nevertheless

, I firmly believe that the aspect will lead to negative circumstances. Since a large portion of the undergraduates and people who just enter the workforce would choose some specific career paths to fulfil the goal of buying houses, the overall development of these young would be restricted to certain occupations.

For example

, an immense number of college students in Taiwan would dream to work in TSMC, a company famous for its high salary and long working hours, to earn enough money in their earlier lives.

However

, these promising people might originally have some extraordinary talents in other fields, which could make them even more promising in the long run. In conclusion,

although

owning real estate is viewed as being successful and could bring a great fortune, choosing the career path that one is skilled at would create a greater potential in the future in my opinion.

Submitted by andy.chen.02092000 on Wed May 18 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Example
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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Fully explain your ideas

It is common that in many companies people from different ages work together in a same team. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantges?

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activities of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Getting promotion is one of the biggest drives for people to apply themselves and work hard in modern workplace. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?