People are living longer after they retire. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?

#people

In present-day society, individuals are having longevity after their retirements. Its results are

heavier

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a heavier

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financial burden and

overloaded

Correct article usage

an overloaded

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as well as

underfunded

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the underfunded

an underfunded

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healthcare system. The

government

needs to find solutions to these problems. As far as I am concerned,

this

phenomenon can be tackled using appropriate measures. On the one hand, there are several issues that may arise when elderly

people

live longer after they retire. Elder

people

will require a lot of pensions from the

government

Therefore

, there will be an influence on the economy of that country as a lot of money is needed in order to provide enough pensions for retired

people

Moreover

, the healthcare system is overloaded and underfunded as well. Due to oldness, there is a sharp increase in

risk

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the risk

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of sickness and disease. More and more elder individuals have to

hospitalise

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be hospitalise

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, resulting in running out of slots in clinics. As the above-mentioned problem, the

government

does not have enough money to fund healthcare infrastructure.

However

, there

are

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show examples

a large

quantity

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number

show examples

of solutions that can be adopted in order to help deal with

such

troubles. The

government

should raise the

retired

Replace the word

retirement

show examples

age for healthy individuals. If they live longer after retirement, they will have enough health conditions to continue working.

Furthermore

people

should be encouraged in immigration.

As a result

, the labour forces will be expanded which lead to more taxes as well as money. What is more, employers should make financial contributions to retirement funds on behalf of their employees. These funds help sustain old

people

without putting a strain on the

government

budget. In conclusion, there are indeed various repercussions regarding

longevity

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the longevity

show examples

of retired humans, yet, they can be solved once

according

Add the preposition

toaccording

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measures are enlisted imperatively.

Submitted by doibichhoa on Wed May 18 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People are living longer after they retire. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

13.) Should the international community do more to tackle the threat of global warming? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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