IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

You have lost an item of value on a train. Write a letter to the railway company. In your letter describe the item explain where and when you left it say what action you would like the company to take Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#item #value #train #railway #company #action #addresses #sir #madam
Dear Sir or Madam, I am a loyal customer of your company and I am writing to inquire you about my watch which I lost on my trip to Samarkand by train
last
 Sunday. When it comes to the watch, it was bright silver with some ancient patterns and it was a heritage from my grandad, so I really appreciated that item. As you know, I booked a ticket to Samarkand from your railway company. During my journey, I had to change my chamber with another passenger as it was located on the back of the train. At that time, all of a sudden, I fell down on the corridor and all my belongings scattered everywhere and one of the staff gave me a helping hand. After settling down in a new chamber, I realised that my watch had disappeared. Even though I looked for it everywhere and asked that employee, I could not find it anywhere.
That is
 why, I decided to request you about my unexpected situation. I would be grateful if you could take steps to search for my valuable watch and you can contact me on my mobile phone which is 9715392613. I look forward to receiving a positive response from you at your earliest convenience. Yours faithfully, Karim
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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task response
Expand on the description of the lost item for a more detailed account. While mentioning it's a heritage watch with ancient patterns is good, further elaboration on its appearance or sentimental value could enhance your letter.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, consider creating clearer links between paragraphs. Use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly,' 'In addition,' or 'Consequently,' to ensure a smoother flow of information from one idea to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single topic for better cohesion. While your letter is generally well-structured, briefly revisiting the importance of the watch in the final paragraph could reinforce the urgency of your request.
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