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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say now that we can see films on our phones or tablet there is no need to go to the cinemas, others say to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, individuals argue that there is no need to go to the theatres anymore since we can watch
movies
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 at
home
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 using our devices,
while
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 others say they prefer going to the
cinema
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 to get the full experience. In
this
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 essay, I will explain each side and include my opinion. On the one hand, I prefer watching
movies
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 at
home
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instead
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 of going to the
cinema
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, just like many people, since it can offer many benefits. One major benefit is the cost; watching
movies
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 at
home
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 does not cost money in comparison to the
cinema
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, where you have to pay for the tickets and the snacks.
Secondly
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, the ability to pause the movie whenever you needed a break to go somewhere,
for example
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, going to the bathroom.
Thirdly
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, no distractions; there is no noise, or someone screaming, or laughing at some scene that may distract you from the plot.
On the other hand
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, watching
movies
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 at the
cinema
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 has some advantages to it as well, even though I do not prefer it much. One major advantage is the huge screens; they offer better quality of the visuals and the sound, which creates an intense and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more engaging experience for the viewers.
In addition
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 to that, cinemas allow early access to new
movies
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 before they
get
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are
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 released on streaming platforms.
Also
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, going to the
cinema
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 may be a form of relaxation, and thereby,
for instance
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, after a long day at work
being
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, being
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 stressed, going to the
cinema
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 may provide relief and boost the mood.
To conclude
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,
although
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 going to the
cinema
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 may have some advantages to it, I prefer watching
movies
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 at
home
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 since it can provide a more comfortable and
cheap
Replace the word
cheaper
show examples
 space.

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structure
Build a clear plan in the intro and restate your view in the conclusion. Add more detail on why each side is true to show you have thought about the topic.
structure
Link ideas in a simple way. Use words that show order (first, next, then) and show how one idea leads to the next.
content
Add more real examples to back each point (for instance, a time you saved money at home, or a time you felt the cinema was better).
language
Use short, clear sentences. Check small errors and keep word choice simple.
content
You state both sides and give your own view.
structure
There is a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
structure
Good basic links show contrast (on the one hand, on the other hand).
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