IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

To some people studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it is important to do so? What will be the effect are not taught history?

In the contemporary
world
Use synonyms
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
history
Use synonyms
 might not be important anymore to be studied at school. In my opinion, I believe that studying the past increases
people
Use synonyms
’s knowledge by learning from the past and
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
open minded
Add a hyphen
open-minded
show examples
 about the
world
Use synonyms
. If
children
Use synonyms
 are not taught
history
Use synonyms
, they are likely to develop
close mindedness
Add a hyphen
close-mindedness
show examples
 and prejudice.
History
Use synonyms
 has taught
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many
people
Use synonyms
 about heritage, geography, evolutionism, strategy, and the effects of wars. In order to have a broad knowledge about the
world
Use synonyms
 and the human species,
children
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged to undertake
history
Use synonyms
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 because it will help them on reaching a broad vision of the
world
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the past helps to understand and comprehend fully why some animals that are from the same family have divided
in
Change the preposition
into
show examples
 subgroups, and eventually lost some physical similarities. Through studying the past
people
Use synonyms
 can find liaisons
about
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the human species and the
world
Use synonyms
, or simply understand better how society was developed and how ancient
people
Use synonyms
 had revolutionary ideas that resulted in the modern
world
Use synonyms
. If
children
Use synonyms
 are not encouraged to be curious about the past, they are likely to become adults with prejudice and
close mindedness
Add a hyphen
close-mindedness
show examples
,
therefore
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 that prefer to react physically to the
inputs’
Change noun form
inputs
show examples
world
Use synonyms
. Studies showed that
people
Use synonyms
 with little to no interest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the past are likely to make the same mistakes
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
 of the past and behave aggressively
to
Change preposition
toward
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 different from them. In the past,
this
Linking Words
 example is shown through Hitler and the persecution of Hebrews because they were seen by him as an inferior race. In order to reprimand
this
Linking Words
 behaviour, it is advised that
children
Use synonyms
 study the past and the consequences of the actions. In conclusion,
history
Use synonyms
 has a significant role in the modern
world
Use synonyms
 and mostly to have
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 educated population. Studying the past will help
people
Use synonyms
 to broaden their knowledge and be
open minded
Add a hyphen
open-minded
show examples
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and the
world
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: