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Band 5

Some people think parents should read stories to children. Others thinkparents don't need to do that as children can read books or watch TV, movies bythemselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #stories #children #thinkparents #books #tv #movies #bythemselves
These days people place a
Primmum
Correct your spelling
Premium
 on their children. Some people argue that their kids can read
Add an article
the story
show examples
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
show examples
 themselves, while
other think story
Change the wording
another think story
other think stories
show examples
 should be read by their parents. In my
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 it is better for mothers to read a
book
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them. To advance a convincing theory I could deal with why it is important. Due to lack of free
time
 these days family members have less
time
 to spend with each other and
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 plain to see it has had a
Correct your spelling
knock-on effect
show examples
knock-on-effect
Correct your spelling
knock-on effect
show examples
 on their relationship. We all need more
time
 with our mother, father and siblings to talk and have fun. We all have work to do during the day but every night by reading a
book
 or watching a movie together we can have more family
time
. We should consider that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 each of us
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
time
 for
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
. Gone is the idea of not respecting
your self
Correct your spelling
yourself
show examples
 and just
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 attention to
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
.
For instance
, sometimes I go out alone and I have a cup
coffee
Change preposition
of coffee
show examples
 and think about my future plans or I read a
book
. In general, I do whatever I want. I read
a
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apply
show examples
research, it said If we have a spare
time
 for ourselves, we will even have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
relation
Replace the word
relationships
show examples
 with other people. I have searched about
this
 topic a lot .on top of that another future which I should mention is children should learn to have liberty. Watch tv alone or read a
book
. In
this
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
 they will
also
 learn more. To conclude,
although
 reading a
book
 alone has good effects, we must be aware of our relationship with our family members.
Submitted by s.pantea.rahnama on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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