A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In recent days, people seem to be more interested in social status and financial income than moral
virtues
. In my opinion, values
such
as
trust
, empathy and courage are way
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
than society ranks.
First
of all, social status and material possessions are volatile.
For instance
, when
Wall
Correct article usage
the Wall
show examples
Street stock exchange fell, many wealthy families found themselves in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
extreme crisis. All their savings and stocks were lost, and they were left with nothing; their social status abruptly crashed and they had to rebuild their position from the beginning.
This
clearly shows how much can fluctuate physical possessions, and why it is not the best way to judge someone's worth.
Secondly
,
virtues
hardly change over time. In order to develop a long intimate relationship or, simply, a supervisor-employee relationship, these values are significant.
Virtues
,
such
as
honor
Change the spelling
honour
show examples
, courage, empathy and
trust
are the basis to build
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of relationships because,
for instance
, if there is no
trust
,
supervisor
Fix the agreement mistake
supervisors
show examples
are unlikely to assign important projects to employees.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, it is more difficult for a clerk to acquire a higher position,
therefore
, a higher income to sustain his family.
Same
Correct article usage
The same
show examples
can be said regarding love relationships. If there is no
trust
, it is likely that the relationship crumbles and partners distance
themeselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
each other. In conclusion, I believe that moral
virtues
are considerably important in order to judge a person's worth rather than social rank and economic possessions. If people take
ethic
Replace the word
ethical
show examples
values more into consideration than stocks and ranks, it highly creates a better society.
Submitted by mikkia28 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Materialism
  • Social status
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honor
  • Kindness
  • Integrity
  • Consumerism
  • Superficiality
  • Ephemeral
  • Philanthropy
  • Prosperity
  • Altruism
  • Narcissism
  • Humility
  • Empathy
  • Ethics
  • Moral compass
  • Minimalist
  • Contentment
  • Material possessions
  • Status symbol
  • Wealth disparity
  • Moral bankruptcy
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