IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

while mobile phones have many advantages a number of problem have also resulted from them or the way in which they are used. mention problems and solutions ?

#phones
These days a cell phone is part of humans' life, it has benefits
also
 harmful effects. So,
this
 essay will draw the problems that came from these technologies and discuss some ways to solve them. Overall, mobiles just were for adults while now for all ages even under 10 years old. For, example, if a child uses the phone for the whole day, might make the child brainless as the clean children's minds.
This
 proves clearly, that the majority in every community constitute less effective.
On the other hand
, parents should prevent any things that could make their kids have a lazy nation. To illustrate, if the family do not allow those things or even hides them during the day especially in the morning due
that is
 the best time to wake up the mental strength.
Hence
 the belief they will be more active and go back again to their nations.
In addition
, the bad side of the internet is more than the benefit.
For instance
, if you lay on the phone for two minutes that will rise and you will lose your time on something does not deserve.
Also
, it may take you to think your life is bad, while the fact it is the normal life for everyone but the social media shows you the opposite.
This
 proves clearly why we should start our days without opening our phones, while at the end of the day we could after finishing all the jobs we were doing. That should be more helpful to not feel we are not enough. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of the issue, I believe that we not using the modern staff in the perfect way
that is
 why we should try to change as much as we could to increase our energy rather than kills it with our hands.
Submitted by dove1450y on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: