Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays there is a new trend in education at home. It is highly debated whether homeschooling is the best for
children
, or whether it is advisable to attend
school
as the best, providing an all-around education. There are strong arguments on both sides, which I will discuss here. On the one hand, people have different views on why
children
should be educated at home.
Firstly
, the relationship between parents and
children
can improve because they can maximize their family time.
Secondly
, the learning process could be faster because the attention of the tutor is centred on one kid.
As a result
, identifying directly the weaknesses and improving them could help to unleash and develop the
children
's potential.
For example
, in crowded classrooms, teachers are not able to focus on one kid and sometimes
kids
cannot learn fully on a daily basis.
On the other hand
, the supporters of the importance of
school
highlight reasons why students should be instructed at
school
.
To begin
, it is possible that interaction with other
kids
allows the development of social skills
such
as leadership or effective communication.
For instance
, sharing with other
kids
in team group activities encourages
kids
to share their ideas.
Additionally
, homeschooling is not affordable for most parents. Each session
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
around 30 dollars per hour and there are around 12 subjects in the regular curriculum that every child needs in any educational process.
To sum up
, between the two options it seems to me that it is necessary for
children
to attend
school
because it not only helps the learning process of the
kids
and develops their social skills, but
also
it is a cheaper option that will give to more
children
the opportunity to access to education.
Submitted by Andrea Barreto on

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task achievement
To strengthen task achievement, consider providing more specific examples and details to support your points. For instance, when discussing the cost of homeschooling, you might specify the potential total costs per month or year to give a clearer picture.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Consider using more connective words and phrases to link ideas, such as 'furthermore', 'in addition', or 'consequently'. This will help to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Review the introduction to ensure that it clearly outlines the structure of the essay and what will be discussed in each paragraph. Additionally, make sure the conclusion succinctly summarizes the key points and reiterates your opinion.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both homeschooling and traditional schooling, making it clear that the writer has considered both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The use of specific reasons and explanations to support each viewpoint provides a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively sums up the arguments presented and clearly states the writer's opinion, leaving the reader with a strong impression of their stance.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tailored learning
  • peer pressure
  • flexibility
  • instill values
  • socialization
  • communication skills
  • specialized facilities
  • extracurricular activities
  • diversity
  • structured environment
  • customized education
  • well-rounded education
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