IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that advertising on TV is usefull for viewers, while other disagree. Discuss both sides and give opinion.

#people #tv #usefull #viewers
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Recently, with the increasing trend of social media, the phenomenon of advertising benefits on television has aroused wide concerns among various circles. Divergent as peoples'
view
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views
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 on
this
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 issue in question may be,
although
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 there are good arguments in favour of advertising on TV would bring positive
effect
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effects
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, I personally believe that advertising on television is undoubtedly harmful to the audience. Of all the reasons why
advertisements
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 have their advantages, probably the most significant one is that it helps to utilise peoples' imagination and flex their creative muscles. Due to the fact that it is necessary to draw customers' attention by advertising their latest
products
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 on TV within a minute, people in the marketing or promotion industry are
thus
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 encouraged to develop an interesting storyline or new ideas in a bid to increase the attractiveness of their
products
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.
For instance
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, some
advertisements
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 would copy some famous scenes from a popular movie and
also
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 add some special features of their
products
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 in it,
in
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apply
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order to arouse
audience's
Correct article usage
the audience's
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 attention and glue their eyes on the
products
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 for a few more seconds.
This
Linking Words
 in turn can increase the exposure of their
products
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 to the public for increasing income
to
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for
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 the companies. Despite the positive effects brought by the
advertisements
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 described
as
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apply
show examples
above, I believe that it does more harm than good. As it can
also
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 convey distorted messages to the public. Due to the prevalence of the consumer culture, companies encourage people to keep abreast of their latest
products
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.
As a result
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, they often create an unrealistic imagination with exaggerated effects, that manipulates people at the end of the day.
For example
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, in some fashion magazines, their
products
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 are often presented with glamorous and slim models,
that
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which
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 implied the message of "thin is tantamount to beauty".
This
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 distorted value would widen the gap between the real self and ideal self among women, and eventually undermine their self-esteem . To summarise, not only
advertisements
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 could have a wide range of advantages, but it is of paramount importance that the public should
also
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 aware of their potential drawbacks.
Submitted by adrianworld on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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