IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Everyone should be allowed to bring guns to work or to go out. Agree or Disagree?

People
Use synonyms
 have different views on allowing to bring
guns
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 when go
go
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
out. While it is true that it could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
protect
Correct your spelling
themselves
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 in a few cases, I believe that it is too dangerous and unnecessary. In my opinion, more
guns
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 do not stop more crime. In some countries, it is legal to carry
guns
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, but the crime rate there did not decrease, it even increased.
For example
Linking Words
, there are a lot of school shootings causing many casualties.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
legalization
Correct article usage
the legalization
show examples
 of weapons could cause unfortunate accidents if not careful. For
exaple
Correct your spelling
example
, parents leave their
guns
Use synonyms
 at home and the children
picks
Change the verb form
pick
show examples
 up the
gun
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 to play with friends. If the safety latch is accidentally opened, it would make the child become a
murder
Replace the word
murderer
show examples
 even by accident.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there should be strict laws on legalizing firearms in public.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, carrying a
gun
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 when
go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 out or
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 to work could help
people
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 defend themselves against dangerous situations.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
 countries with high crime rates, going alone often puts themselves
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 danger,
such
Linking Words
 as
robbed
Add a missing verb
being robbed
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, sexually assaulted, and so on.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
carry
Wrong verb form
carrying
show examples
 a
gun
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 as a defensive weapon could help
people
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 feel safer.
Secondly
Linking Words
, allowing
guns
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helps
Change the verb form
help
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 the government control and reduce the risk of smuggling.
As a result
Linking Words
, the government could know how many
guns
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people
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 have and their purpose when buying a
gun
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. In conclusion,
bring
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
guns
Use synonyms
 to work or to go out could help in a lot of cases, I think it would be better if there was a law restricting about use
Use synonyms
guns
Change preposition
of guns
show examples
.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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