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Band 7.5

Some say that because many people are living much longer the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extant do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work
Across the globe, a lot of individuals support the idea of expanding the retirement age due to case that the average living life has been rising dramatically while others deem that it should not be increased from the fixed numbers. I am completely in disagreement with
this
 statement and provide relevant points below.
First
 of all, it is an undeniable fact that even though senior employers have more enormous experience in the field than newly hired workers, just because you live longer does not mean you keep your productivity at a high level. In fact, the more one gets older the more he or she visits doctor appointments and begins taking more pills to keep them functioning well again.
As a result
 of that, the company will have to give sick leaves to the workers outnumbers past ones. It can be seen as a main factor or example of a company's potential bankruptcy.
Secondly
, an increase in retirement youth may bring a lot of discomfort to their family life since grandparents assumed as the babysitters for their grandchildren. Keeping them busy at work, forces working parents to hire a person to take care of youngsters while they are making a living outside of the house.
Further
 and more importantly, it leads the traditions and cultural histories to fade away down to the fact that seniors are the main storytellers of the house. In
this
 way, the nation may lose more valuable things namely future generations in the long term run while keeping elders busy. Overall,
although
 rising retirement age has short term benefits I think that drawbacks outweigh the good in the long term.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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