IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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From
past
Correct article usage
the past
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 to today,
agriculture
Add an article
the agriculture
show examples
 industry has achieved to gain important developments. Especially, in terms of efficiency, nearly an increase of 30% was recorded compared to
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 two decades. Despite all these positive sides,
hunger
Correct article usage
the hunger
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 issue plays a serious
problem
Use synonyms
. According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific studies, almost 1/3 of the world is
to face
Change the verb form
faced
show examples
 with insufficient feed. If it is focused on
main
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the main
show examples
 point of
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
, it seems that various factors, which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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drive
to
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apply
show examples
a nutrition crisis
in
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on
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global
Correct article usage
a global
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 scale, exist. Basically, these parameters can be divided into two groups
as
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apply
show examples
environmental and unfairly resource distribution. To start with environmental
determinant
Fix the agreement mistake
determinants
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, human-induced global warming and its consequences affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
land quality. What is more, as the ability
of producing
Replace the preposition
to produce
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 food
of
Change preposition
from
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 the soil deteriorates, at the same level, huge losses emerge.
With
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From
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 another perspective, it can be claimed that there is a direct correlation between the amount of yield and soil or land pollution. On the other side, resource sharing or distribution
vary
Correct subject-verb agreement
varies
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 much more among countries.
For example
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, While the developed countries have more
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 in investing
to
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in
show examples
agriculture
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the agriculture
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 sector, undeveloped regions of the world are deprived
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 these improvements. The distinctive factor
at
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apply
show examples
here is
technology
Add an article
a technology
the technology
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 and financial situations. As long as
this
Linking Words
 gap between the developed and undeveloped regions increases,
hunger
Correct article usage
the hunger
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problem
Use synonyms
execerbates
Correct your spelling
exacerbates
exacerbated
. To solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
, cooperation between countries is essential.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 all
technologic
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technological
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 and other
resource
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resources
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 should be shared as a whole between regions.
Besides
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 these approaches, all types of activities made by human-being,
such
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 as environmental
pollutions
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pollution
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, should be avoided. If all solution suggestions are implemented, it is clear that
hunger
Correct article usage
the hunger
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problem
Use synonyms
 in the world will mitigate and people will reach more
nutritions
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
show examples
.
Submitted by canertiryaki on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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