some say that because many people are living much longer , the age at which pwopl retirevfrom work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the rapid development , the medical community are living more than in the past. The vast majority of the population ponder that the average living youth is increasing year by year and they believe withdrawal sophistication should be prolonged
accordingly
to developing medicine and working ability. I completely disagree with
this
situation and I will explore
this
in my essay.
First
of all, a high aged nation is not influenced by work efficiency oppositely they are an obstacle to work development. Because leas reaction deprives ones to as active as new. Not only that, some chronicle illnesses
such
as high blood pressure , decreased vision and heart-related diseases are always banned from their mobility.
For example
, if teachers have high blood pressure , they are not tolerated by several bullies and
this
situation destroys absolutely rules.
Furthermore
,
such
illnesses stimulate humans a lot in more time their health. Prolonging withdrawal youth is impair
this
occasion. Another factor reduces the employment rate of many young nations. What I mean by
this
is not decrease the workplace but
also
deprive youth in increasing their duty and
this
is not to give job satisfaction to inexperienced when they always use the same old ideas
instead
of their perfect and advanced ideas.
Secondly
, grandparenting is the base of our society.
For instance
, great upbringing and utmost nursing in children and young generation relative to grandparents. Because they teach modesty and ethics uniqueness to children .
That is
, they are providers of traditional cultural values.
Similarly
, when nations retire, they start a new life, they begin to realize their unattainable dreams, and humans get rid of various work pressures.
For instance
, the population are waiting to retire and retire from what they could not do in their minority ,
that is
, they want to learn to draw, sing and play different musical tools. For
this
reason , extending the retirement experience is not great. To infer, the acceleration of medicine and the prosperity of the economy benefit our society a great deal. But with the prolonging of economic development , people are facing more and more pressure from various aspects of their health. For
this
,reason extending the retirement old age due to the increase
i
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
the average age will cause inconveniency , not convenience, to young and old people.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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