IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
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There are loads of valuable benefits of doing community services without a desire of getting financial rewards in return for every age and every walk of
life
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.
However
Linking Words
, it is still a controversial topic whether or not to include volunteering
work
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 in high
school
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 programs as a compulsory part. If we say about the community services that high
school
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students
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 can undertake, planning trees on the Earth Day, acting in plays for donating orphans, collecting plastic wastes for recycling, and cooperating in sports training with younger
students
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 pop up into our mind.
Such
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 activities mostly
work
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 out better with groups and
thus
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 can certainly teach
students
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 to
work
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 in unity.
Moreover
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, even
students
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 with introverted personalities can be benefited by learning how to communicate with other people well. Since volunteering needs the characteristics of both selflessness and self-interest, some can luckily observe their interests and hidden talents. Doing
work
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 for society without any expectation of getting something in return is a good practice and it is good to develop
such
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 a mindset in teenage
life
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.
Additionally
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, young learners can be trained to think about any possible consequences of their actions by participating in volunteering
work
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. When they enter the real workplace or initiate a business venture, they would become good entrepreneurs who take social responsibilities in every step of
work
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. For these advantages mentioned above, engaging in volunteering works will be a worthy way for
students
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 to build themselves stronger and spend their energy and time in the best way. Despite their willingness to take part in unpaid community services, teachers and government can put
such
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 activities in high
school
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 programs and encourage young learners to have a habit of volunteering. In my high
school
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life
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, we have taught a minor subject to learn how to behave well, get fit in adult
life
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 and take responsibilities. I
also
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 think doing as volunteers in
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
show examples
 holiday should become a part of
this
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 subject and
students
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 who did well in it should be praised and get scores to an extent.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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