Some say that because many people are living much longer , the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work

Human beings are born to enjoy

life

apart from work and die eventually. Some individuals are of the opinion that since the average age of

people

has increased and they tend to live for a long duration the evacuation

life

at the workplace should be increased. I,

however

, disagree

Change preposition

with

show examples

the suggested view. Some

society

Fix the agreement mistake

societies

show examples

think that the pullout youth should be raised. Because there is always a need for workers with great experience,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

most

people

of retirement age are masters of their craft.

However

, long

life

expectancy does not mean high productivity. Because after the age of 60 a person suffers from various chronic diseases, less reaction, disease leaves, which has a great impact on productivity.

Secondly

, for many

people

evacuation is the beginning of a new

life

with less pressure and more entertainment when

people

want to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their lifelong dreams . Because they were busy with work all their lives and didn’t spend time on their dreams. Retirement is a great time to make that happen. In conclusion,

although

it works for a few I believe that our birth is not just for work but to enjoy the beauty of activity.

Submitted by uluga2002 on Fri May 20 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

194 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some say that because many people are living much longer , the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many parts of the world, women study science and technology, but donot work in these fields. What measures can be taken to encourage women to work in science and technology?

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

A government's role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc.). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community.

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to imporse a higher tax on this kind of food. TO what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?