IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
The
time
 a human being learns suitable manners starts at a very young age. While some people believe
this
 responsibility should fully fall on their
parents
, others argue that their educators should have more of an impact, I feel that both are crucial, but
parents
 should have more of a say. On the one hand, educational institutions are the places kids spend most of their
time
 at.
Therefore
, major learning takes place. On average youth spends about 6 to 7 hours every weekday for an estimate of sixteen plus years. So given the amount of
time
 spent and it being a crucial
time
 in the brain development of pupils, we should not just brush off the importance of instructors. Kids pick up any and everything they see, so if the place they go to learn does not have a proper structure to foster acceptable behaviour, the consequences could be catastrophic.
On the other hand
,
parents
' are the most essential factor in the upbringing of their off-springs. If a child grows up with one or both
parents
 missing, that kid is most likely going to have some issues.
For instance
, the majority of criminals in prison lacked the presence of a father or a mother figure growing up. Taking all
this
 into account, more weight should be put on
parent's
Fix the agreement mistake
parents'
show examples
 shoulders.  To sum up, even though schools should play a major role in the proper development of a child, the people who brought them into
this
 world should take on more of the burden.
This
, in turn, will ensure a much better outcome in having a prosperous society.
Submitted by yazi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: