A rise in childhood obesity is a real threat to health with an increasing number of children now classified as overweight. What are the causes of the problem and what measures can be taken to solve them? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge of experience.

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Obesity has become one of the most serious issues related to public health. Most physicians and people who belong to the healthcare field argue that measures have to be taken promptly in order to control

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condition straightaway.

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, most strategies have been proposed to improve lifestyles and teach all communities the importance of following healthy habits. In

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essay, I will explain some causes and solutions. To start with, it is well-known that there are many biological mechanisms which explain the addiction to junk

food

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, mainly because most substances that are found in that type of

food

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stimulate the areas of the brain in charge of pleasure by releasing some neurotransmitters,

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as dopamine and serotonin.

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, the consumption of fast

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is supported by most campaigns and advertisements that are shown daily to the public.

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, in The United States, a junk

food

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advertisement, which is sponsored by most big companies, namely Nestle, McDonalds, Burger King, CocaCola, etc., is displayed on television every 30 seconds Based on the aforementioned, obesity has been considered a pandemic illness that should be controlled, not only because of its immediate impact on daily tasks by leading to fatigue and reducing people’s performances but

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due to

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the ever-increasing prevalence of chronic diseases,

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as primary hypertension, diabetes, heart attack, and stroke. Currently, some solutions have been stipulated and the widespread education of proper lifestyles given by implementing enjoyable methods to exercise and follow a healthy diet has been one of the most successful.

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, in Colombia, most universities have changed their curriculums to one in which their students have to take at least two elective classes related to working out and healthy cuisines.

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, governors must take into consideration the importance of following good habits because of their direct relationship with chronic diseases.

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although

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leisure activities are important and have to be present in families, many measures should be implemented to promote health and prevent diseases.

luciaagudelomottaSat Jun 29 2024

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task achievement

To improve your task response score, make sure to address each part of the task explicitly and thoroughly. Focus on elaborating further on the causes and solutions to childhood obesity with more depth. You could also enhance your argument by presenting statistical data or more diverse real-life examples.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on making your transitions smoother and your arguments more logically organized. Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear and logical path to make your essay easier to follow.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for providing a cohesive structure.

relevant specific examples

The use of specific examples, such as the references to advertising in the United States and changes in Colombian universities, helps illustrate your points effectively.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
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meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Childhood obesity
Overweight
Sedentary lifestyle
Nutritional education
Physical activity
Screen time
Fast food consumption
Sugar-rich beverages
Dietary choices
Urbanization
Genetic factors
Predispose
Environmental factors
Health threat
Lifestyle choices

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