Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work

As the life expectancy of the general population extends, some propose the age for retirement should be postponed correspondingly. In my opinion, I do not concur with

this

statement, after considering both individual and social prospects, because I believe the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. Continuing to work when one is aged can pose several problems. While some people believe working can maintain one's activity level and cognitive function, it is foreseeable that some employments impose a heavy load and stress on

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

. When a human body has been functioning for over fifty years, there are bound to be some "ailments" which require medical attention and care,

such

as pain syndromes, concentration problems, osteoporosis,

Parkinsons

Change noun form

Parkinsons'

Parkinson's

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Disease and Dementia. Forcing mature seniors to continue working in labour-intensive duties

such

fireman

Fix the agreement mistake

firemen

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and policemen would be disrespectful.

Thus

, it is unwise to extend the age of ceasing employment to citizens.

Furthermore

, delaying retirement can lead to social problems. With mature employees high up in the hierarchy for extended years, the movement up a career ladder would be much slower for juniors. Job opportunities for graduates and other younger ones in the institution would be reduced, leading to a rise in

unemployment

Add an article

the unemployment

show examples

rate in society. If,

on the contrary

, retirement takes place earlier,

this

would free adequate positions and allow freshers to start their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

, which, in turn, casts a positive impact on the community's productivity and economy. In conclusion, my view is that lengthening of lifespan does not imply a need to postpone the age for work withdrawal because of both individual health constraints and the effect on job opportunities.

Submitted by ichtsang on Sun May 22 2022

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion

Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in?

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'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction? * Social media networks = messaging and information exchange systems such as Facebook and Twitter.