IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some say that the standard of behaviour among children has worsened and that this is their parents' fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#say #behaviour #children #parents #fault #schools
It is an undeniable fact that the level of
children
's actions has aggravated. Some people ponder that
parents
 should take responsibility for
this
 phenomenon.
However
, I reckon that educational institutions should be blamed. On the one hand,
parents
 are liable to comprehend pupils' characteristics more deeply than any other teacher, as family members have been dwelling in the same houses since
children
 were born in
this
 world.
Therefore
, mothers and fathers can instruct them grounded on their own personalities.
On the other hand
, some disruptive students come from unstable family backgrounds. An illustration is that
parents
 get divorced, and single-parent families are supposed to work for ages to ensure
children
's education, which means that they have little time to build a cordial relationship with pupils. Under
such
 circumstances,
children
 are more likely to exacerbate their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 for the reason that they feel a sense of freedom without any constrain;
hence
, teachers should be held culpable for improving their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and impeding young learners from perpetrating juvenile delinquency.
Moreover
, a large number of educators discern how to curb their students appropriately because they have interacted with a wide variety of students and aggravated know-how since they engaged in school education.
This
 is why
parents
 should become dependent on schools' methods if
parents
 cannot make adjustments to
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. To summarise, school instructors should take precedence over
parents
 in terms of raising awareness of pupils' manners.
This
 policy is more effective for lone
parents
 who face financial difficulties and those who have the desire to rely on specialists
Submitted by ko.matsumoto on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: