IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Although nowadays people are reading News through internet, newspaper still remains of value. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #news #internet #newspaper #value
It is true that in
this
 contemporary world, the population gives high preference to the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 for reading News but I believe that newspapers will not lose their significance in
this
 world because it is accessible at cheap rates.
To begin
 with, the newspaper is considered an emotion by some folks like reading the magazine with tea is a hobby for several communities because it provides knowledge about surroundings in written form which does not put a strain on the eyes of the reader as the modern technology gives ailments
such
 as sight disorders.
For example
, I remember that my grandfather read the journal in the morning after waking up
instead
 of using
high tech
Add a hyphen
high-tech
show examples
 gadgets because it was difficult for them to shift to gadgets from newspapers.
In addition
 , another benefit of paper reading is that these papers are approachable at a reasonable price even poor people can afford
this
. To elaborate, many crowds around the globe do not have smartphones or they have apathy toward using modern mobile phones and computers which is not a cup of tea for them because they are technophobes.
Last
 but not least, proponents can read the news without any interaction which can be occurred
due to
 poor internet connectivity or advertisement popups.
For instance
, reading news on gadgets is absolutely a daunting task for people who live in far-flung areas
due to
 the bad connectivity of signals. In conclusion, I reiterate that the newspaper is a major source of information over the internet around the globe
due to
 its affordability.
Submitted by Khushpreet Singh Sidhu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more developed and focused. The main points are supported, but the reasoning and examples could be more detailed and specific to the topic.
task achievement
The response addresses the prompt and presents clear comprehensive ideas. However, the examples and reasoning could be more detailed and specific to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: