IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that public money should not be spent on cultural amenities such as museums, theatres and art festivals. How important do you think these things are to society as a whole? Are there any areas which are more important for the government to fund?

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Devoting
Use synonyms
budget
Correct article usage
a budget
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 artistic facilities has been a well-discussed topic and some individuals think that should not pay public
Use synonyms
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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 for cultural
services
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
art
Use synonyms
 campaigns, museums and cinemas.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain two importance of these things to society and say imperative places for the
government
Use synonyms
 to
fund
Use synonyms
. Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 pay more attention to artistic events and places.
In addition
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 become more imperative for them.
Firstly
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, in the modern world,
citizens
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
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 need are more spiritually and physically needs have
answered
Add a missing verb
been answered
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since
Change preposition
for
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 years. An example can be seen
as
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in
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 France,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
where
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there
Add a comma
,there
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 participate artistic festivals and encourage each other to respect their cultural
costume
Fix the agreement mistake
costumes
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. Due to superb museums
such
Linking Words
 as
louvre
Correct article usage
the louvre
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, many
people
Use synonyms
 from all around go there and it leads to having more income from cultural
services
Use synonyms
 for the
government
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 amenities would fresh individual’s
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 and if they paid attention
on
Change the preposition
to
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 festivals and maintained their identity, they would feel jolly.
For example
Linking Words
 in Iran, theatres or these
entertainments
Change the noun form
entertainment
show examples
 types are really popular and citizens prefer to participate
Use synonyms
art
Change preposition
in art
show examples
 festivals.
As a result
Linking Words
, cultural amenities would important for individuals
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
somewhere and devoting public
Use synonyms
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 that, is essential.
However
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, there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
 imperative areas for the
government
Use synonyms
 to determine
Use synonyms
budget
Add an article
the budget
a budget
show examples
 for that.
For example
Linking Words
 in India individuals need more medical places ,clinics and hospitals. So, it would
better
Add a missing verb
be better
show examples
 for authorities to
fund
Use synonyms
 medical facilities
instead
Linking Words
 of
art
Use synonyms
 amenities.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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live
Add the particle
tolive
show examples
Correct your spelling
below
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blow
Correct your spelling
below
show examples
 the poverty level
such
Linking Words
 as Africans,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 need more food
budget
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not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 cultural
services
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the
government
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 determine more
budget
Use synonyms
 for
first
Linking Words
 needs
instead
Linking Words
 of artistic
services
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
art
Use synonyms
 facilities would
important
Add a missing verb
be important
show examples
 for
people
Use synonyms
 and the
government
Use synonyms
 can devote public money for that but it depends on their region and situation.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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