In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #reason #mall #entertainment #shop

These days, since we are living in

such

a rapidly developing world, our ways of

entertainment

have

also

been gradually diversified

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

over the years, and shopping mall is one of them. When it comes to shopping

center

Fix the agreement mistake

centers

show examples

, it is not just about going there to buy things we want anymore. People now can have fun and be entertained at the shopping mall.

This

can bring many benefits, but obviously, coming with them are

also

disadvantages. Before arriving

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a logical conclusion, I am going to discuss

about

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apply

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both sides of

this

issue. First of all, speaking of advantages, when coming to a shopping mall for

entertainment

, we have many choices

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apply

show examples

there.

For example

, malls have many

entertainment

services like cinemas, restaurants, café, bowling alleys, etc. Sometimes, you can

also

combine these ways, it is even more convenient. After watching a movie, you can find a coffee shop or a restaurant to sit down and talk about the movie without taking

time

Correct article usage

the time

show examples

to go anywhere else.

Besides

, we don’t need to go shopping in person anymore because more and more shopping websites and apps have been put on the market. For online shopping, you can buy things as many as you want, and with just one click, all of your items will be delivered to your house. There

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are

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no more long lines of people at the checkout or carrying heavy bags to your house.

On the other hand

, it is not always good to go shopping online. Sometimes, the quality of the products is not as good as you expected. When that thing

happen

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happens

show examples

, returning the defective item can waste your time and cause other problems.

In addition

, going shopping is

also

a way of

entertainment

. Meeting friends and going shopping can happen at the same time. In conclusion, whether it is shopping in person or online shopping, each of them has its good and bad things.

Therefore

, I believe any change in the future has two sides and is a part of the contribution to

further

development

Submitted by nguyenminhman21691 on Mon May 23 2022

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be developed further to provide a stronger and clearer framework for the essay.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more detailed and engaging. The main points are supported, but some examples lack depth and clarity.

task achievement

The response addresses the task but could benefit from a more explicit position on the issue. More developed, specific examples would enhance the depth of the response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people said that only talented children can become successful musicians or athletes. However, some people believe that children can be taught to succeed in music or sports. Discuss both sides.

many people say that we have developed into a throw away culture because we are filing up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we can't fully dispose of . to what extent do u agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend reducing this problem.

Private motor vehicle has greatly improved individual freedom of movement. Moreover, the automobile has become a status symbol. Yet the use of private motor vehicles has contributed to some of today’s most serious problems. How can the use of private motor vehicles be reduced?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?