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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has made knowledge immediately available to people through computers and smartphones all around the world. Much of this knowledge is also free. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

#internet #people #computers #smartphones #world #trend
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Currently, the
internet
 is the most powerful communication of
humanity
 and everyone is able to connect
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 other whenever they want. In my opinion, I've always thought that
this
technology
 has both benefits and drawbacks
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same
time
.
To begin
 with, the
internet
 is the communication way which supports
people
 to send and receive data as far as they want and makes
people
 always connected.
Moreover
, the advancement of
technology
 lead us to adapt
internet
signal
Fix the agreement mistake
signals
show examples
 to use in
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 and especially
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
 either for entertainment or work. Those
reason
Change the determiner
reasons
show examples
 make
people
 can live easier without any doubt, but, we are not able to refuse that there is some trouble came from using the
internet
, which is outlined in the
next
 paragraph.
Firstly
, the
first
 drawback is that twenty-four hours available. The majority are seduced to join the world of data and entertainment. It affects
people
's routine life to be not constant and lack of discipline,
for example
,
people
 will not sleep at the appropriate
time
 but desired
time
, which unfortunately reduces human living efficiency.
Furthermore
, those technologies cause
people
 will be connected all the
time
. As we can see when individuals use their
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
. Talking with someone located far away is an easy task to do nowadays because of a helping from
technology
. Fortunately, some countries announced serious measures about using mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 with hoping to separate
humanity
 from the world of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. To conclude, all technologies, not only the
internet
 and smartphone, in the meantime, can support and destroy
humanity
.
Hence
, the importance is developing and utilizing it carefully and wisely, it surely results in the most beneficial thing for us.
Finally
, I strongly believe that
humanity
 can overcome the drawback of
technology
 and gain the most effective result.
However
, we need to remember that every coin has always two sides, the same thing can become our weapon or toxic depending on our use.
Submitted by h.chanid on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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