IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #areas #change
Some individuals believe that
tourism
 should be banned in some
areas
 to protect local
culture
, while others claim that limited
areas
 for
tourism
 have brought benefits for the locals and change is inevitable. In
this
 essay, I would like to discuss both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perspectives before drawing a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, some people believe that
tourism
 should be banned from some
areas
 to protect the local traditions and
culture
. For starters, excessive
tourism
 would degrade the
area
's
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
 and heritage.
For instance
, when
tourists
 from different
areas
 come, they can somehow affect the locals as they have different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 including what food they eat and how they talk.  Meanwhile, flooding
tourists
 with misbehaving could cause damage to the
area
.
For example
, people tend to write on walls or on trees where they go to mark cause damage.
Secondly
, if the tourist numbers increase, which means more green land and natural land will be replaced by
tourism
 facilities,
as a result
, it will affect the environment and cause pollution.  On the one hand,
tourism
 has multiple adverb impacts on the development of the economy.
Firstly
, more businesses will open to serve
tourists
 like souvenir stores, restaurants, and hotels, which will help develop revenue.
Secondly
,
tourism
 helps solve unemployment in the
area
 as people can open their own businesses for
tourists
.
As a result
, it will help the economic growth of the nation.  Even though
tourism
 has a
slight
Change the adjective
slightly
show examples
 harmful effect on the local
culture
, I still believe banning some
arae
Correct your spelling
are
area
 will bring no benefit to the
area
, especially the economy.
Submitted by nguyenmaitrang1310 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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