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Band 4.5

Subjects like arts, music and drama are more important than other subjects and therefore should be given more time in the calendar. Do you agree or disagree?

#subjects #arts #music #drama #time #calendar
A question central to today's learning
subjects
 debate is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
art
 fields like music and drama have a significant effect, rather than other
subjects
 like mathematics or chemistry. Some individuals including
meyself
Correct your spelling
myself
 believe
art related
Add a hyphen
art-related
show examples
subjects
 should be
credit
Wrong verb form
credited
show examples
 more, because of the various
resons
Correct your spelling
reasons
thath
Correct your spelling
that
 will be explained in
forthcoming
Correct article usage
the forthcoming
show examples
 paragraphs.
to begin
, one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 major advantage of detecting more attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
 field is that, it can benefit us better
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 less
time
 and effort to learn.
Firstly
 ,
art
subjects
 like
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
show examples
 or drawing could be learned in
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
 period of
time
 as they are easy to learn and in some cases even
joyfull
Correct your spelling
joyful
joyfully
.
This
 means, as they do not contain complex
stuctures
Correct your spelling
structures
 like
mathematic
Replace the word
mathematics
show examples
 to follow and they contain easy steps to learn, so they are easier;
therefore
, they tend to be learned faster. to resume with, in the
art
 field making money is simpler. As in my mind selling
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
peace
Correct your spelling
piece
show examples
 of
art
 like a song or a drawing could provide us with a higher amount of financial profit rather than working as a
clreck
Correct your spelling
clerk
click
clock
 with the
mathmatic
Correct your spelling
mathematic
mathematical
 skill.
For instance
, today
artistes
Correct your spelling
artists
show examples
 are able to work as a freelancer and make money whenever and wherever they want with less effort taken and high financial profit taken. But
on the other hand
, a person who
deticate
Correct your spelling
dedicate
 his
time
 in
chemistey
Correct your spelling
chemistry
 should work for many
longer
Replace the word
long
show examples
 hours with a low
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
sallary
Correct your spelling
salary
. All in all, there are slight
defferences
Correct your spelling
differences
 between the variable
subjects
 and fields like
art
 have much worth to get learned and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
time
 on them rather than alternative
subjects
such
 as mathematics.
Submitted by parafik on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Stimulate creativity
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Emotional and social benefits
  • Self-expression
  • Cultural appreciation
  • Global citizenship
  • Balanced education
  • Diverse career paths
  • Stress reduction
  • Mental well-being
  • Talent nurturing
  • Substantial career opportunities
  • Arts-based subjects
  • Confidence building
What to do next:
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