It is suggested that everyone wants to own a car, a TV and a fridge. Do the disadvantages to society outweigh the advantages?

There is an opinion stating that all
people
should possess a
car
, a television, and a fridge. From my perspective, the merits are as important as the demerits of
this
opinion for the world. All items mentioned above are
necesscities
Correct your spelling
necessities
for nowadays
people
. It is hard to imagine that
people
can live without a television, since TV is
a critical equipment
Remove the article
critical equipment
a piece of critical equipment
show examples
for current
people
’s entertainment, after a whole day of working or studying, both workers
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
students
requie
Correct your spelling
require
a good way to relax
themselves
Remove the pronoun
apply
show examples
.
Moreover
, owning a
car
is
extermly
Correct your spelling
extremely
important for nowadays
people
, particularly for the residents who live in the areas which do not have a developed public transportation system. For
this
group of
people
,
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
is a kind of necessary
assest
Correct your spelling
asset
assets
assist
for them, because possessing a private
car
can
gurantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
them to enjoy the rights of free movement,
otherwise
, it is tough for them to move to other areas for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
or
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
better working opportunities. There are many potential disadvantages which could be brought by the opinion mentioned above.
For example
, a lot of citizens
cna
Correct your spelling
can
not
affrod
Correct your spelling
afford
these three items,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
means if we wish everyone have these items, the government need to adopt some aid policies for the poor
people
who do not have money to purchase these three goods,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
may
increases
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
the financial burden of the government and squeeze the funds of other public services,
such
as the investment in public education, the constructions of infrastructure, which are
possbily
Correct your spelling
possibly
more important for the development of our society. In conclusion,
gurantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
everyone in the world has a
car
, a television, and a fridge can increase the living standards of all citizens,
however
, we still need to consider the cost of making
this
wish come
ture
Correct your spelling
true
.
Submitted by w1274991789 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: