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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is suggested that everyone wants to own a car, a TV and a fridge. Do the disadvantages to society outweigh the advantages?

#car #tv #fridge #society
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There is an opinion stating that all
people
Use synonyms
 should possess a
car
Use synonyms
, a television, and a fridge. From my perspective, the merits are as important as the demerits of
this
Linking Words
 opinion for the world. All items mentioned above are
necesscities
Correct your spelling
necessities
 for nowadays
people
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. It is hard to imagine that
people
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 can live without a television, since TV is
a critical equipment
Remove the article
critical equipment
a piece of critical equipment
show examples
 for current
people
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’s entertainment, after a whole day of working or studying, both workers
or
Correct word choice
and
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 students
requie
Correct your spelling
require
 a good way to relax
themselves
Remove the pronoun
apply
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, owning a
car
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 is
extermly
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extremely
 important for nowadays
people
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, particularly for the residents who live in the areas which do not have a developed public transportation system. For
this
Linking Words
 group of
people
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,
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car
Add an article
the car
a car
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 is a kind of necessary
assest
Correct your spelling
asset
assets
assist
 for them, because possessing a private
car
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 can
gurantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 them to enjoy the rights of free movement,
otherwise
Linking Words
, it is tough for them to move to other areas for
traveling
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travelling
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 or
finding
Wrong verb form
find
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 better working opportunities. There are many potential disadvantages which could be brought by the opinion mentioned above.
For example
Linking Words
, a lot of citizens
cna
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can
 not
affrod
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afford
 these three items,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means if we wish everyone have these items, the government need to adopt some aid policies for the poor
people
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 who do not have money to purchase these three goods,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 may
increases
Change the verb form
increase
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 the financial burden of the government and squeeze the funds of other public services,
such
Linking Words
 as the investment in public education, the constructions of infrastructure, which are
possbily
Correct your spelling
possibly
 more important for the development of our society. In conclusion,
gurantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 everyone in the world has a
car
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, a television, and a fridge can increase the living standards of all citizens,
however
Linking Words
, we still need to consider the cost of making
this
Linking Words
 wish come
ture
Correct your spelling
true
.
Submitted by w1274991789 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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