IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

•Successful sports professionals, such as football stars, earn much higher salaries than people in other important professions. Some people think this is unjustified and unfair. What is your own opinion. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#•successful #sports #professionals #football #stars #salaries #people #professions #reason
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Sports professionals, especially soccer
players
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, tend to get a high amount of
money
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 in relation to other professionals; some
people
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 argue that they are not worth that big amount of
income
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, and
that is
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 rather unfair and unjustified. In
this
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 essay, I will show my total disagreement with that claim, and I will explain three consequent reasons for that.
First
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, no one would argue that
football
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 is a great source of entertainment, and entertaining is a great investment globally. Footballers always play an important role in helping
people
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 forget about their daily life stresses, for that
people
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, unawarely, reward them by buying tickets for the matches they attend, buying sports costumes even following their pages and accounts on different social platforms.
Thus
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,
football
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players
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 would have a high
income
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, for the enjoyments they provide to their fans.
Second
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, in my opinion,
Although
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 footballers seem to earn a high
income
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, more than the effort they do, in fact, they are not able to play until they get retired.
Football
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 ,as a sport, needs high body abilities and skill performance, so hardly ever a
football
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 player would able to play soccer over forty his age.
In other words
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,
football
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players
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 should be able to save
money
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 for the rest of their life.
Finally
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,
football
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 clubs are big business projects that are owned by billionaires, and
players
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 are the main characters in the project.
Football
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 teams are not going to have lots of fans without big the big superstars playing for them, and Whenever a
football
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 club signs a contract with a player, they bear in mind to earn much more
money
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 from the contract than the amount of salary they give the player. To sum up, as far as I am concerned, skilled sports professionals, especially footballers, have a great
income
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 for some reasons; they are a source of for
people
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, they are not able to play after forty, and they are part of a bigger business.
Therefore
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, I think
football
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players
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 are well worth the
money
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 they earn.
Submitted by ghazi.lina on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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