IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

• Successful sports professionals, such as football stars, earn much higher salaries than people in other important professions. Some people think this is unjustified and unfair. What is your own opinion. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#sports #professionals #football #stars #salaries #people #professions #reason
Sports professionals, especially soccer
players
, tend to get a high amount of
money
 in relation to other professionals; some
people
 argue that they are not worth that big amount of
income
, and
that is
 rather unfair and unjustified. In
this
 essay, I will show my total disagreement with that claim, and I will explain three consequent reasons for that.
First
, no one would argue that
football
 is a great source of entertainment, and entertaining is a great investment globally. Footballers always play an important role in helping
people
 forget about their daily life stresses, for that
people
, unawarely, reward them by buying tickets for the matches they attend, buying sports costumes even following their pages and accounts on different social platforms.
Thus
,
football
players
 would have a high
income
, for the enjoyments they provide to their fans.
Second
, in my opinion,
Although
 footballers seem to earn a high
income
, more than the effort they do, in fact, they are not able to play until they get retired.
Football
 ,as a sport, needs high body abilities and skill performance, so hardly ever a
football
 player would able to play soccer over forty his age.
In other words
,
football
players
 should be able to save
money
 for the rest of their life.
Finally
,
football
 clubs are big business projects that are owned by billionaires, and
players
 are the main characters in the project.
Football
 teams are not going to have lots of fans without big the big superstars playing for them, and Whenever a
football
 club signs a contract with a player, they bear in mind to earn much more
money
 from the contract than the amount of salary they give the player. To sum up, as far as I am concerned, skilled sports professionals, especially footballers, have a great
income
 for some reasons; they are a source of for
people
, they are not able to play after forty, and they are part of a bigger business.
Therefore
, I think
football
players
 are well worth the
money
 they earn.
Submitted by ghazi.lina on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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