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In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?

#years #interest #relationship #equality #achievement #people #individuals #societies #levels #merits #success
It is sometimes argued that personal achievement depends on a fair and equitable society or personal freedom. In my opinion, I believe that these two factors are prime drivers for individuals to achieve more.
To begin
 with, the
first
 argument that springs to my mind is that inequality often endangers
one
's achievement.
One
 prominent example would be gender inequality. It is an inevitable trend that modern societies are becoming more equal
to
Change preposition
for
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 males and females. While in the past, men dominated the higher hierarchy in traditional societies, now women can be equally influential in modern societies - be it
political
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in political
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 or educational positions. Another case in point is education. Without equal access to technology, students in impoverished countries are easily left behind, given they have
less
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fewer
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 opportunities and resources to learn from. Equally worth mentioning is that personal freedom is a prime driver
for
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of
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one
's success. There are numerous studies, related to education and motivation, that have demonstrated that free choice is essential to
one
's motivation in study and work. If individuals can choose their subjects or jobs freely, they would have a sense of relatedness, and
this
 will enable them to be more self-determined and persevere to achieve more.
Therefore
, many educators suggest parents should be open to their children's choices of studying or working, not limited to particular areas
such
 as medicine or engineering, and I agree. If parents placed equal importance on arts and sports, there would be more great painters, musicians and athletes. In conclusion, it seems to me that society putting an emphasis on equality can have a positive impact on personal success.
Submitted by Peter Chan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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