In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?

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It is sometimes argued that personal achievement depends on a fair and equitable society or personal freedom. In my opinion, I believe that these two factors are prime drivers for individuals to achieve more.

To begin

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with, the

first

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argument that springs to my mind is that inequality often endangers

one

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's achievement.

One

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prominent example would be gender inequality. It is an inevitable trend that modern societies are becoming more equal

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for

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males and females. While in the past, men dominated the higher hierarchy in traditional societies, now women can be equally influential in modern societies - be it

political

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in political

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or educational positions. Another case in point is education. Without equal access to technology, students in impoverished countries are easily left behind, given they have

less

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fewer

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opportunities and resources to learn from. Equally worth mentioning is that personal freedom is a prime driver

for

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one

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's success. There are numerous studies, related to education and motivation, that have demonstrated that free choice is essential to

one

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's motivation in study and work. If individuals can choose their subjects or jobs freely, they would have a sense of relatedness, and

this

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will enable them to be more self-determined and persevere to achieve more.

Therefore

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, many educators suggest parents should be open to their children's choices of studying or working, not limited to particular areas

such

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as medicine or engineering, and I agree. If parents placed equal importance on arts and sports, there would be more great painters, musicians and athletes. In conclusion, it seems to me that society putting an emphasis on equality can have a positive impact on personal success.

Submitted by Peter Chan on Wed May 25 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people argue that governments should make laws regarding people’s nutrition and food choices to improve public health while others contend that this is the freedom of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries around the world men and women are having children later in life.What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problem, as well as practical problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?