Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Growing interest in
children
’s behaviour has been highlighted over the past decades. From this
aspect, questions about if children
behave badly, their parents
should accept commitment and be punished for the behaviour of their children
arise. In my opinion, parents
should accept responsibility and also
be punished to some extent.
Irrefutably, an increase in domestic education occurs. This
is because, unlike the past, parents
experienced parental commitments and punishments would find out the reasons for their children
's spoiled behaviours
and guide appropriate solutions to prevent detrimental actions. This
obviously leads children
to realise how badly they behaved and this
in turn brings about an improvement in their sense of morality.
What is more, although
not all bad behaviours
can be prevented, children
's destructive behaviours
are reduced. In actual fact, domestic studies undertaken by experts have revealed that parents
who recognise parental responsibilities strive to educate what is right from wrong and strictly discipline children
acted badly in the right directions. This
, therefore
, encourages children
to understand the severity of spoiled behaviours
.
Nevertheless
, suitable measures are needed for children
. In other words
, since parents
often struggle to control their children
, parental responsibilities and punishments would not always be effective, therefore
children
who are out of control are less likely to repeat similar detrimeltal behaviours
against other individuals.
To recapitulate, suitable measures are needed for children
but an increase in domestic education occurs, and children
's destructive behaviours
are reduced. Thus
, parents
should accept responsibility and also
be punished.Submitted by subin12260 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task prompt, addressing the argument about parental responsibility. However, try to elaborate further on your points with additional specific examples or evidence to enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, some of the ideas could be better connected for smoother transitions. Consider using more linking words to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your main argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt effectively, providing your opinion on parental responsibility for children's bad behavior.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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