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Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #children #parents #responsibility #behavior
Growing interest in
children
’s behaviour has been highlighted over the past decades. From
this
 aspect, questions about if
children
 behave badly, their
parents
 should accept commitment and be punished for the behaviour of their
children
 arise. In my opinion,
parents
 should accept responsibility and
also
 be punished to some extent. Irrefutably, an increase in domestic education occurs.
This
 is because, unlike the past,
parents
 experienced parental commitments and punishments would find out the reasons for their
children
's spoiled
behaviours
 and guide appropriate solutions to prevent detrimental actions.
This
 obviously leads
children
 to realise how badly they behaved and
this
 in turn brings about an improvement in their sense of morality. What is more,
although
 not all bad
behaviours
 can be prevented,
children
's destructive
behaviours
 are reduced. In actual fact, domestic studies undertaken by experts have revealed that
parents
 who recognise parental responsibilities strive to educate what is right from wrong and strictly discipline
children
 acted badly in the right directions.
This
,
therefore
, encourages
children
 to understand the severity of spoiled
behaviours
.
Nevertheless
, suitable measures are needed for
children
.
In other words
, since
parents
 often struggle to control their
children
, parental responsibilities and punishments would not always be effective,
therefore
children
 who are out of control are less likely to repeat similar detrimeltal
behaviours
 against other individuals. To recapitulate, suitable measures are needed for
children
 but an increase in domestic education occurs, and
children
's destructive
behaviours
 are reduced.
Thus
,
parents
 should accept responsibility and
also
 be punished.
Submitted by subin12260 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task prompt, addressing the argument about parental responsibility. However, try to elaborate further on your points with additional specific examples or evidence to enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, some of the ideas could be better connected for smoother transitions. Consider using more linking words to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your main argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt effectively, providing your opinion on parental responsibility for children's bad behavior.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • behavioral accountability
  • moral compass
  • juvenile delinquency
  • parental involvement
  • individual accountability
  • pivotal role
  • unfairness
  • delinquency
  • legal challenges
  • strain on relationships
  • societal benefits
  • determining the extent
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