Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

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Growing interest in
children
’s behaviour has been highlighted over the past decades. From
this
aspect, questions about if
children
behave badly, their
parents
should accept commitment and be punished for the behaviour of their
children
arise. In my opinion,
parents
should accept responsibility and
also
be punished to some extent. Irrefutably, an increase in domestic education occurs.
This
is because, unlike the past,
parents
experienced parental commitments and punishments would find out the reasons for their
children
's spoiled
behaviours
and guide appropriate solutions to prevent detrimental actions.
This
obviously leads
children
to realise how badly they behaved and
this
in turn brings about an improvement in their sense of morality. What is more,
although
not all bad
behaviours
can be prevented,
children
's destructive
behaviours
are reduced. In actual fact, domestic studies undertaken by experts have revealed that
parents
who recognise parental responsibilities strive to educate what is right from wrong and strictly discipline
children
acted badly in the right directions.
This
,
therefore
, encourages
children
to understand the severity of spoiled
behaviours
.
Nevertheless
, suitable measures are needed for
children
.
In other words
, since
parents
often struggle to control their
children
, parental responsibilities and punishments would not always be effective,
therefore
children
who are out of control are less likely to repeat similar detrimeltal
behaviours
against other individuals. To recapitulate, suitable measures are needed for
children
but an increase in domestic education occurs, and
children
's destructive
behaviours
are reduced.
Thus
,
parents
should accept responsibility and
also
be punished.
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task prompt, addressing the argument about parental responsibility. However, try to elaborate further on your points with additional specific examples or evidence to enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, some of the ideas could be better connected for smoother transitions. Consider using more linking words to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your main argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt effectively, providing your opinion on parental responsibility for children's bad behavior.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • behavioral accountability
  • moral compass
  • juvenile delinquency
  • parental involvement
  • individual accountability
  • pivotal role
  • unfairness
  • delinquency
  • legal challenges
  • strain on relationships
  • societal benefits
  • determining the extent
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