Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Growing interest in
children
Use synonyms
’s behaviour has been highlighted over the past decades. From
this
Linking Words
aspect, questions about if
children
Use synonyms
behave badly, their
parents
Use synonyms
should accept commitment and be punished for the behaviour of their
children
Use synonyms
arise. In my opinion,
parents
Use synonyms
should accept responsibility and
also
Linking Words
be punished to some extent. Irrefutably, an increase in domestic education occurs.
This
Linking Words
is because, unlike the past,
parents
Use synonyms
experienced parental commitments and punishments would find out the reasons for their
children
Use synonyms
's spoiled
behaviours
Use synonyms
and guide appropriate solutions to prevent detrimental actions.
This
Linking Words
obviously leads
children
Use synonyms
to realise how badly they behaved and
this
Linking Words
in turn brings about an improvement in their sense of morality. What is more,
although
Linking Words
not all bad
behaviours
Use synonyms
can be prevented,
children
Use synonyms
's destructive
behaviours
Use synonyms
are reduced. In actual fact, domestic studies undertaken by experts have revealed that
parents
Use synonyms
who recognise parental responsibilities strive to educate what is right from wrong and strictly discipline
children
Use synonyms
acted badly in the right directions.
This
Linking Words
,
therefore
Linking Words
, encourages
children
Use synonyms
to understand the severity of spoiled
behaviours
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, suitable measures are needed for
children
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, since
parents
Use synonyms
often struggle to control their
children
Use synonyms
, parental responsibilities and punishments would not always be effective,
therefore
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
who are out of control are less likely to repeat similar detrimeltal
behaviours
Use synonyms
against other individuals. To recapitulate, suitable measures are needed for
children
Use synonyms
but an increase in domestic education occurs, and
children
Use synonyms
's destructive
behaviours
Use synonyms
are reduced.
Thus
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
should accept responsibility and
also
Linking Words
be punished.
Submitted by subin12260 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task prompt, addressing the argument about parental responsibility. However, try to elaborate further on your points with additional specific examples or evidence to enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, some of the ideas could be better connected for smoother transitions. Consider using more linking words to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your main argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt effectively, providing your opinion on parental responsibility for children's bad behavior.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • behavioral accountability
  • moral compass
  • juvenile delinquency
  • parental involvement
  • individual accountability
  • pivotal role
  • unfairness
  • delinquency
  • legal challenges
  • strain on relationships
  • societal benefits
  • determining the extent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: