Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree

#people #crimes #adults

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In recent years, the number of young

criminals

Use synonyms

is increasing rapidly. Some people think that it should be treated

similarly

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between young people and adults who engage in criminal activities. I completely agree with

this

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view.

Firstly

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, punishment is necessary for everyone, the youth is no exception. It is extremely important to protect safety and security in every nation. If children are not punished,

this

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could make them think and act more irresponsibly knowing that they do not have to face severe consequences.

In addition

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, they

also

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may become a tool for youth

crimes

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in particular

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situations.

For example

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, with some minor

crimes

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such

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as shoplifting or pickpocketing, juvenile

criminals

Use synonyms

know that they can avoid receiving prison sentences and

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instead

Add a comma

instead,

show examples

they just have to attend some rehabilitation programs.

That is

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why these criminal activities are

repeatedly

Replace the word

repeated

show examples

Secondly

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, the main reason for

rising

Replace the word

the rise

show examples

of juvenile

criminals

Use synonyms

is because of the lack of care from parents. Some parents think that their children are

Rephrase

too

show examples

young to become into

crimes

Use synonyms

or pose a serious threat to society

as well as

Linking Words

forgot

Wrong verb form

forget

show examples

their

responsibility

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibilities

show examples

. Appropriate punishments for youth

crimes

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will help parents look back and take care of their children.

Moreover

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, youngsters are the main labour resource in each country, and directing them to follow ethical standards may help them gain good performance and avoid traps in the future. In conclusion,

although

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I admit that young offenders should be forgiven for some minor

crimes

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, I still strongly believe that they should be punished

similarly

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to adult

criminals

Use synonyms

Submitted by anhvuqsk on Wed May 25 2022

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task response

Ensure that all parts of the essay are directly relevant to the task question and fully address all parts of the prompt. Provide a clear opinion and support it with relevant examples and explanations.

cohesion and coherence

Use cohesive devices such as transition words, pronouns, and conjunctions to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion that are well-structured and logically connected.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree er disagree with this statement?

Write essay task 1 for the process of making carbonated drink

In some countries, people are having children at later age in life. What are the reasons? Do the advantage outweigh disadvantages?

Some people think all university student should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.