IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#summarise #information #features #comparisons
The
first
 pie chart presents
energy
 consumption in the average household in Australia. While the
second
 pie chart illustrates the greenhouse gas
emissions
 that come from
this
energy
 consumption. Overall, while heating and
water
 heating account for a significant proportion of
energy
 use, most greenhouse gas
emissions
 come from
water
 heating and other appliances. Heating and
water
 heating account for 72% of total
energy
 consumption, with the former making up 42% and the latter 30%. Other appliances and refrigeration added up to 22%, with refrigeration only 7% of that total. Lighting and cooling are 4% and 2% respectively.
Water
 heating is
also
 a major source of greenhouse gas
emissions
, making up almost a
third
 of total
emissions
. The
second
-largest amount of
emissions
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 from other appliances, at 28% of the total. Heating, surprisingly, is only responsible for 15% of total
emissions
. And
this
 figure is roughly the same as that for refrigeration. The remaining 11
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of total emission results from lighting and cooling.
Submitted by marowan.selim on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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