Some people think that nowadays children have too much freedom. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays people believe that children of the current generation enjoy much more
freedom
than required, which has changed the behaviour of youngsters. While
some argue that it has a negative impact but
I partially agree as Correct word choice
apply
freedom
is also
required for a child
's development. To explain my view, I will be discussing the pros and cons in this
essay.
The foremost advantage of freedom
is that kids become more independent in life
. As freedom
gives them the levy to enjoy their own choices which helps them to become more confident. For instance
, when a child
has the freedom
to make their decisions
in studies or other curricular activities, they become more successful in Correct word choice
own decisions
life
as they involve themselves with full joy. Moreover
, folks learn new things by experimenting in their daily life
. Thus
, adequate freedom
given by parents helps in the child
's growth and makes them self-sufficient.
On other
hand, excess of everything is bad. When a Correct article usage
the other
child
is given unnecessary freedom
in life
they will become disobedient, arrogant, etc. With zero restriction a child
easily gets influenced by bad things. For example
, when parents don't keep an eye on what kind of content a youngster is watching, in such
cases
kids mostly watch inappropriate videos which hamper their behaviour and pollute their minds with negative stuff. Add a comma
cases,
Thus
, enough freedom
can damage a child
's mental health due to
which they misbehave with everyone.
To conclude
, though freedom
enables children to become more confident, and independent in life
but
excess of it can badly affect their behaviour and growth. So, I strongly believe that parents must give space to their kids but in an adequate manner.Correct word choice
apply
Submitted by mile.jasmeenkaur12 on
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task response
Your essay contains relevant points but lacks depth in your examples. Try to provide more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay in a coherent manner, but your essay lacks connectivity between some ideas leading to a lower score. Try to use cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively.