Some people think that nowadays children have too much freedom. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays people believe that children of the current generation enjoy much more
freedom
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than required, which has changed the behaviour of youngsters.
While
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some argue that it has a negative impact
but
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apply
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I partially agree as
freedom
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is
also
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required for a
child
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's development. To explain my view, I will be discussing the pros and cons in
this
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essay. The foremost advantage of
freedom
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is that kids become more independent in
life
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. As
freedom
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gives them the levy to enjoy their own choices which helps them to become more confident.
For instance
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, when a
child
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has the
freedom
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to make their
decisions
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own decisions
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in studies or other curricular activities, they become more successful in
life
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as they involve themselves with full joy.
Moreover
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, folks learn new things by experimenting in their daily
life
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.
Thus
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, adequate
freedom
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given by parents helps in the
child
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's growth and makes them self-sufficient. On
other
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the other
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hand, excess of everything is bad. When a
child
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is given unnecessary
freedom
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in
life
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they will become disobedient, arrogant, etc. With zero restriction a
child
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easily gets influenced by bad things.
For example
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, when parents don't keep an eye on what kind of content a youngster is watching, in
such
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cases
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cases,
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kids mostly watch inappropriate videos which hamper their behaviour and pollute their minds with negative stuff.
Thus
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, enough
freedom
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can damage a
child
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's mental health
due to
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which they misbehave with everyone.
To conclude
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, though
freedom
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enables children to become more confident, and independent in
life
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but
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apply
show examples
excess of it can badly affect their behaviour and growth. So, I strongly believe that parents must give space to their kids but in an adequate manner.
Submitted by mile.jasmeenkaur12 on

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task response
Your essay contains relevant points but lacks depth in your examples. Try to provide more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay in a coherent manner, but your essay lacks connectivity between some ideas leading to a lower score. Try to use cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively.
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