IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people say that in all levels of education,from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills.

It is
Correct article usage
an argument
show examples
argument
Replace the word
argued
show examples
 by some that compulsory education and higher education
courses
Use synonyms
 are more
theory
Replace the word
theoretical
show examples
 and are less practical. I completely
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
 opinion and in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will state the reasons for my view. The most compelling reason for holding to my view is that
now days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the method
show examples
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 of education
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 based on
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 and
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
. In other
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
word
Add a comma
,word
show examples
 teachers have to teach the lessons during the one term.
Consequently
Linking Words
, students
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
must
studied
Change the verb form
study
be studied
show examples
 and
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
pass their term should take an exam and get the
accept
Replace the word
accepted
show examples
 score.
Therefore
Linking Words
 a lot of students have faith study on night
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
 and their goal only get the score to pass .
for example
Linking Words
, when I studied
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 university , many of my
college
Replace the word
colleagues
show examples
 did not sleep and reviewed their booklets only for passing
courses
Use synonyms
 without understanding. Another reason for my position is that , after graduating ,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge number of students do not have enough practical
skilled
Replace the word
skills
show examples
,due to
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
show examples
 that a lot of schools and universities do not have suitable
laboratory
Fix the agreement mistake
laboratories
show examples
 and
workplace
Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
show examples
 to train the practical parts of any
courses
Use synonyms
 , because of setting up
those laboratory
Change the determiner
that laboratory
those laboratories
show examples
 are expensive , so that prefer to hold their
courses
Use synonyms
base
Change the form of the verb
based
show examples
 on theory .
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 while Ahvaz ‘s schools are
grate
Correct your spelling
great
show examples
 in theory
courses
Use synonyms
. Its schools do not have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place where to experiment. I would like to close my argument
by
Change preposition
against
show examples
 some people and I opine that the most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
courses
Use synonyms
 in school and university are based on
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
 and are not practical because creating the laboratory in the educational places is so expensive. I recommended the training instituted need to improve their vocational place

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rote memorization
  • practical skills
  • adaptable skills
  • critical thinking
  • balanced approach
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making
  • workforce readiness
  • real-life challenges
  • technological advancements
  • information management
  • creativity hindrance
  • lifelong learning
  • skill development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: