Nowadays people get married and have their kids in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Do you agree or disagree that this trend will benefit society?

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Together with

Linking Words

the world and technological advancement,

people

Use synonyms

are getting busier than before. In my personal opinion, women were asked to stay at home rather than be at work. Now,

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

is not the case anymore. A majority of men and women are working to support their living costs. Indirectly making

people

Use synonyms

start their married life a bit later than before. In

this

Linking Words

context, as a part of the younger generations, I have to agree that these situations will benefit society. I believe

people

Use synonyms

nowadays

started

Wrong verb form

start

show examples

their married life and have their kids in their thirties as they want to secure financial stability.

For example

Linking Words

, the commitment of a household is getting higher, and the rent of an apartment can reach up to 800 pounds in the United Kingdom, generally. When they have proper accommodation, they will have better general well- beings and

this

Linking Words

will profoundly improve mental health. Mental health is a very important factor

to grow

Change preposition

in growing

show examples

a happy society.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

believe that age is an important factor IN maturity. Mature parents usually have higher Emotional Intelligence (EQ)which can help in reducing the failure of parenting. They will help in managing life crises

as well as

Linking Words

be more experienced in handling

teenager

Replace the word

teenage

show examples

issues.

For instance

Linking Words

, these factors are seen to be a factor why at these ages, the divorce rates are lower than the youngsters. In a nutshell, I strongly agree that the marriages that happen in the thirties will greatly benefit society more than ones that happen younger. After all, all marriages

deserved

Wrong verb form

deserve

show examples

a happy one and vice versa.

nazwinkhFri May 27 2022

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coherence and cohesion

Consider restructuring your introduction for clarity. Start with a brief overview of the trend before stating your opinion.

task achievement

Make sure to clarify the link between financial stability and the timing of marriage in your arguments for better clarity.

coherence and cohesion

Use more connecting phrases and transitions between paragraphs to improve flow.

task achievement

You have a clear opinion on the topic and provide supporting points, which is essential in task achievement.

task achievement

Your use of examples such as rental costs adds depth to your arguments, making them more relatable.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial stability
emotional maturity
secure upbringing
career prospects
education and career development
lifetime earnings
job satisfaction
health outcomes
demographic shift
population growth
ageing population
parental preparedness
responsibilities of parenting
modern healthcare
capable of having healthy pregnancies
balancing population growth
establish careers
save money
healthier relationships
better parenting

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Nowadays people get married and have their kids in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Do you agree or disagree that this trend will benefit society?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

More people shop, work and communicate via the internet instead of face-to-face communication. Is it positive or negative?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second-hand clothing amongst the younger generation. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?