Nowadays people get married and have their kids in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Do you agree or disagree that this trend will benefit society?
Together with
the world and technological advancement, Linking Words
people
are getting busier than before. In my personal opinion, women were asked to stay at home rather than be at work. Now, Use synonyms
it
is not the case anymore. A majority of men and women are working to support their living costs. Indirectly making Correct pronoun usage
this
people
start their married life a bit later than before. In Use synonyms
this
context, as a part of the younger generations, I have to agree that these situations will benefit society.
I believe Linking Words
people
nowadays Use synonyms
started
their married life and have their kids in their thirties as they want to secure financial stability. Wrong verb form
start
For example
, the commitment of a household is getting higher, and the rent of an apartment can reach up to 800 pounds in the United Kingdom, generally. When they have proper accommodation, they will have better general well- beings and Linking Words
this
will profoundly improve mental health. Mental health is a very important factor Linking Words
to grow
a happy society.
Change preposition
in growing
Furthermore
, some Linking Words
people
believe that age is an important factor IN maturity. Mature parents usually have higher Emotional Intelligence (EQ)which can help in reducing the failure of parenting. They will help in managing life crises Use synonyms
as well as
be more experienced in handling Linking Words
teenager
issues. Replace the word
teenage
For instance
, these factors are seen to be a factor why at these ages, the divorce rates are lower than the youngsters.
In a nutshell, I strongly agree that the marriages that happen in the thirties will greatly benefit society more than ones that happen younger. After all, all marriages Linking Words
deserved
a happy one and vice versa.Wrong verb form
deserve
nazwinkh
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence and cohesion
Consider restructuring your introduction for clarity. Start with a brief overview of the trend before stating your opinion.
task achievement
Make sure to clarify the link between financial stability and the timing of marriage in your arguments for better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Use more connecting phrases and transitions between paragraphs to improve flow.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and provide supporting points, which is essential in task achievement.
task achievement
Your use of examples such as rental costs adds depth to your arguments, making them more relatable.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite