Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefit of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, technology has improved significantly, making our lives more convenient. People are able to

work

Use synonyms

remotely in other places. I believe that the advantages are more important than the drawbacks. On the one hand, working from home or in other areas rather than in the office can have some benefits. First of all, because of advanced technology,

employees

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can move to the countryside or foreign countries and

work

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there. They have a chance to enjoy different lifestyles and improve their mental well-being.

For example

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, the countryside always provides a calming environment and an opportunity to escape from the busy city life, letting people feel relaxed and recharge.

In addition

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, workers can save plenty of time in commuting because they do not have to be stuck on the road or transfer between numerous public transportation services.

Hence

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, I consider that these positive effects can promote individuals' living quality.

On the other hand

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, some critics and employers may argue that if

employees

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do not

work

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at the office, they would not be productive because they would definitely be distracted by other interesting things,

such

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as video games, social media, and movies.

However

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, I disagree with

this

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perspective since people cannot fully concentrate on their jobs in the office either.

Employees

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may gather in

Correct article usage

apply

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small

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

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to chat with each other. To be more specific, they may

work

Use synonyms

efficiently at home because they can organise their time based on their thoughts

instead

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of their supervisors' orders. In conclusion,

employees

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who

work

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remotely can experience different lifestyles and improve their mental health.

Furthermore

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, they can complete tasks quickly, compared with working in the workplace.

Hence

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, I contend that

this

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working method has more benefits than negative consequences.

sun1214.weiweiSat Apr 19 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider providing more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments, particularly in addressing potential distractions when working remotely.

Task Achievement

Ensure that all main points are fully developed and explained to strengthen your argument. While your points are clear, some could benefit from deeper analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use linking words such as 'moreover', 'furthermore', and 'in contrast' to enhance the flow of your essay and make transitions between ideas smoother.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to avoid repeating phrases or words too often. Instead of saying 'working from home' multiple times, use synonyms or paraphrases to maintain variety.

Task Achievement

Your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic, setting a strong foundation for the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of your essay is logical, with clear topic sentences and a good flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.

Task Achievement

You provided thoughtful insights into the benefits of remote work, particularly in terms of mental well-being, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

telecommuting
remote work
flexible hours
work-life balance
cost-efficiency
carbon footprint
global talent pool
cybersecurity
data breaches
virtual collaboration
isolation
team cohesion
performance monitoring
accountability
hybrid working model

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Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefit of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

If financially possible, is it always better for young people to leave home and be independent at the age of 18, do you agree or disagree?

Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Older generation often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life, thoughts and behavior. Most people argue that it is not helpful for younger generations to prepare for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?