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Band 4

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#money #time
The statement "Having more
money
 and less free
time
 is better than earning less
money
 and having more free
time
" is a very
controversy
Replace the word
controversial
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 topic. I'll discuss both views and state my opinion on
this
. Successful
people
's lives are busy and packed with different schedules since they have to work extra hard in order to earn a lot of
money
. having a lot of
money
 can make your life much more convenient
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because you don't always have to be worried about paying your bills and other living expenses.
This
 is a problem that many
people
 nowadays are having to face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. But, having more
money
also
 means your free
time
 will be limited. It's very important to balance these things since working too much can lead to stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues. As I've said before, successful
people
's lives are busy and packed with schedules since they have to work extra hard to earn
money
. That's why they don't have to worry about paying their living expenses or having financial issues.
In contrast
,
people
 who spend too much of their
time
 hanging out or doing irrelevant things
instead
 of working will meet a lot of financial problems. In conclusion, I disagree with
this
 statement. To have a relaxing and easier life, you need to balance
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working and spending your free
time
, not only focusing on one thing
Submitted by alext620 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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