IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental probles. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. In
following
Change the article
the following

It appears that the phrase following paragraph does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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 paragraph, I will discuss both views and express my own opinion. On one hand, it is true that extensive loss of specific plants and
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is a crucial threat, and the decline of these will result in an imbalance
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the ecosystem.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 evident that various kinds of plants and
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 are
on
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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risk of extinction.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if the number of
carnivores
Change the noun form
carnivore

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of carnivores. Consider changing it to singular.

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animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 who are at the top of the pyramid reduces
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the development of
herbivores
Change the noun form
herbivore

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of herbivores. Consider changing it to singular.

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 creatures like rabbits, and deer will be harmful to the fields as they will become
consume
Change the form of the verb
consuming

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb consume. Consider changing it.

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a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 grass in the fields.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, climate changes due to human activity is a great threat, the excursion of
pollution
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and
greenhouse
Correct article usage
the greenhouse

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 effect has resulted in the melting of ice in the polar regions and a subsequent increase in the water level of the sea.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, coastal areas of many cities are complaining about submerging in the sea.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, birds and
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 living in urban cities are facing various health-related problems due to increasing
pollution
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, not only these creatures but the population living in these areas are facing serious illnesses like asthma and cancer. If the amount of
pollution
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 continued to increase at the same rate in the coming period
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it will be harmful to the existence of human beings and other creatures. In conclusion, nature encroachment is indeed a problem that cannot be neglected but atmospheric
pollution
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is a grave issue, as it is connected to the mere existence of people on the earth.

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