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The youth in many countries are unemployed and unskilled, while at the same time, the military services are in need of people. Compulsory military service is beneficial and necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#youth #countries #time #services #people #service
It is widely believed that youngsters in a number of nations are without jobs and do not have any skills,
however
, the army is actively recruiting new members.
Hence
, service in the armed forces is helpful, and I partially agree with the statement that military service should be compulsory, as it is helpful, yet can be traumatic. Albeit the
rigors
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rigours
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 of military life, the youth will become more mature and skilled. Some young people are irresponsible, and they are accustomed to parental support,
therefore
 most of them are unemployed and untrained. In
military
Add an article
the military
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, they can,
for example
, get up early, do
the
Correct article usage
a
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 cohesive routine and simply be disciplined. With obligatory mobilization, youngsters will learn how to lead a productive life and protect not only themselves
,
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apply
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 but the whole country if it is necessary.
On the other hand
, some folks are not emotionally or physically ready for
this
 type of duty.
Thus
, they should always be focused during battles or practices, which is almost impossible when a person is mentally unstable or physically frail.
Furthermore
, there are risks to lives, which can cause the family to go through misery and grief.
For instance
, parents will be morally destroyed if they lose their child,
moreover
, when there
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 not even an alternative option.
Besides
, living in a democratic country, every single citizen should have a right to live freely and no one can be prohibited from doing what they want to do, making conscription potentially obsolete. Taking everything into account, young adults can take some advantages from military service,
nevertheless
, it should not be mandatory, and every person should have the right to
choice
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choose
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.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Consider enriching your examples to make your arguments even stronger. For example, mention specific skills that the youth could gain from military training or real-life instances of countries where compulsory service has been beneficial or detrimental.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving your transitions between paragraphs to make the essay flow even more smoothly. Phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' and 'Consequently' can help with this.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which facilitates understanding.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view. This is essential for a well-rounded discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Compulsory
  • Military service
  • Unemployed
  • Unskilled
  • Discipline
  • National pride
  • Civic duty
  • Enlistment
  • Conscription
  • Cohesive society
  • Civilian life
  • Government resources
  • Ethical concerns
  • Forced enlistment
  • Individual freedoms
  • Psychological effects
  • Personal beliefs
  • Societal tensions
  • Career disruption
  • National security
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