As well as making money, also business have social responsibilities.Do you agree or disagree?

Many large
businesses
have important improve the
societies
. So, not only making money but their
businesses
also
have significant responsibilities to improve the
societies
. I personally agree with
this
message, and my supportive
agruments
Correct your spelling
arguments
will be outlined in the following paragraphs. The large
businesses
play significant roles to improve the
societies
into
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another step which the
businesses
run regally and have a lot of trustworthy will improve the
societies
into the right sides
such
as
businesses
that have no drugs or
controlled
Add a missing verb
are controlled
show examples
by mafia will provide a better life to the population in cities as well as better life of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
in the countries.
Moreover
, the
businesses
that have high
competition
will
alway
Correct your spelling
always
lunch the
services
or gadgets that can make
ours
Correct the word
our
show examples
life-styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier, and they will never stop
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
their
services
because they have many competitors
want
Correct pronoun usage
who want
show examples
to beat them down.
This
competition
is directly benefits
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
customers like us because customers will always have better gadgets and
services
from their
businesses
competition
to make our life
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier than before. In conclusion, the large business
competition
will improve the
population
Change noun form
population's
show examples
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
into
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another step, and provide their customers
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
better gadgets and
services
all the time.
Submitted by detch2543 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social responsibilities
  • contribute
  • well-being
  • community
  • philanthropy
  • sustainability
  • ethical
  • trust
  • reputation
  • accountable
  • profit-making
  • balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: