some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.others believe that children who are tought to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults

#people #sense #competition #children #tought #co-operate #adults

Some people ween that children with co-operative rather than competitive traits become more useful adults. I agree to some extent with both ideas, but of ,course each theory has its own advantages and disadvantages. In the following, I am going to explain

this

issue in detail. Needless to say, the whole life is based on competition. From early humans until now living beings have always competed with others for their survival in society. If you do not compete, you may stay away from the rest in living, and the foundation of

this

momentous subject has been established from childhood. Beyond the shadow of a doubt, competition brings some good points within itself. The more you compete, the more you become inquisitive.

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

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children who have encouraged to compete with each other

also

have learned how to work independently which is prepare them for future life. Cooperation

Add the comma(s)

,on

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the other hand, upgrades the children’s teamwork characteristics. Not only will they learn how to collaborate with others, but

also

they will learn how to respond to others' feelings.

Moreover

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,Moreover

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it reduces aggressive behaviour and increases trust among members. A sense of belonging is another factor

that is

instilled in participants by assistance. In

such

a condition communication ability will be enhanced, and they learn how to respect different perspectives. Both opinions are correct, of course in the event that situation for healthy competitions is prepared. Only

then

do children can compete with each other without fear of losing and winning. The more healthy be the competition, the more they accept failure without losing self-esteem.

Submitted by onerepublic73 on Fri May 27 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.others believe that children who are tought to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that space travel is a waste of government money while others believe it is important for human. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Being a celebrity - such as a movie star or professional athlete - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or drawbacks?

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.